Scientists in the lab face each problem open-minded, free of bias, and with a unique style that says, “I don’t care what people think of me.”

Lab protocol requires that notes on an experiment are meticulous, detail-oriented, and hella rad.

Everyone uses Celsius instead of Kelvin to boil water because they like to “keep it 100.”

Safety goggles: Oakley. Lab coats: Harley-Davidson. Thermometers: Thermo Fisher Scientific (that’s THE cool brand in thermometers).

Your lab doesn’t do experiments; they’re just “results most people haven’t heard of yet.”

Safety gloves come in both fingerless and leather varieties.

Lab chairs are all in a fixed backwards “AC Slater Style” position.

Ultracentrifuge starts up only if you “Fonzie the side of it.”

Whenever a theory is confirmed, it is customary to note the observation as being “right on” while giving the “hang loose” hand signal.

You and your colleagues are curious, patient, and have a natural “effortlessly flawless swagger.” This prevents your lab from outside peer-reviewed studies since “no one else is on your level.”

Your research is neither qualitative nor quantitative, but has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Next to the first-aid kit is a drum kit. For emergencies.

The lab has regular beakers and Beakers 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Test tubes are specifically referred to as “Test Tubulars”; funnel is spelled “phunnel”; and rubber tubing is referred to as “rubbers,” but not in a creepy way, more of a confident way.

Instead of using the scientific method, you are encouraged to “fuck around and find out.”

The lab has three types of flasks—conical (for mixing), Florence (for boiling), and hip (for top-shelf scotch).

You’ve seen a colleague light a cigarette with a Bunsen burner and vice versa.

You use microscopes while microdosing, use crucibles on edibles, and perform double-blind studies while double-fisting Coronas.

The boiling tubes can get “lit AF.”

Your lab’s hypotheses and observations just hit different, you know?

The lab has a “Lo-fi Beats to Conduct Impartial Research Backed by Independent Trials and Chill To” playlist.

Each morning, the lab mandates a drip tray for your test tubes and a drip check for your wardrobe.

Instead of animal testing, you’re asked to run all your preliminary experiments on your lab assistant named Snake.

The Scientific Journal has said that your laboratory environment is both “professional” and “a really dope hang.”

If you have to ask if you’re in the cool lab, trust us, you’re not.