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Articles by
Kurt Zemaitaitis
Kurt is a musician and comedy writer originally from Chicago currently residing in Rhode Island. He has written for Slackjaw, Points in Case, The Daily Drunk, Robot Butt, and other sites.
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May 23, 2023End-of-Year Dorm Move-Out Procedures That Will Make This Anything But a Smooth Process
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June 23, 2022Before You Enjoy Your Summer, Here Are Some Minor Budget Cuts for Next Year’s High School Music Program
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November 18, 2021An Oral History of John Philip Sousa’s Band, the Hardest-Partying Eighty-Piece Marching Band Ever
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October 21, 2021Due to Current Travel Mandates We’ve Decided to Make COVID-19 Testing at Our Airport a Complete Nightmare
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September 30, 2021Rick Steves Casually Reviews Dangerous Fantasy Locations
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August 30, 2021Guidelines for New Adjunct Faculty to Help You Feel Kind of Welcome
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June 7, 2021Cursed Volcano Or Not, We’re Buying This House Sight Unseen
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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September 6, 2023Plato’s Cave Regrets to Inform You It Will Be Raising Its Rent
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September 5, 2023Our Self-Driving Cars Will Save Countless Lives, But They Will Kill Some of You First
Recently
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September 21, 2023Take Us to Your Leader, the One They Call Jake from State Farm
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September 20, 2023New York Times’ Connections, Toddler Edition
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September 20, 2023Let’s Sell Your Basic House for More Than a Million Goddamn Dollars
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September 19, 2023Our Docuseries Horrible Person Sheds an Important Light on Our Streaming Service’s True Crime Offerings