McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions
“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
—The New York Times
Articles by
Mark Rooke
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September 8, 2015Before We Break for Lunch, Let Me Repeat Everything Already Said at This Meeting at Least Twice
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July 8, 2015Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
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April 29, 2015I Wash My Face Like Women in Skin Care Commercials
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November 5, 2012Let’s Illustrate This Important Chemistry Concept Through a Word Problem About My Failing Marriage
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January 19, 2012Effective Immediately, the Entire Northwest Sales Team Will Be Sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl
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November 5, 2010An Open Letter to the Homeless Man Who Witnessed Me Totally Lose It Last Week
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July 15, 2010Ralph Waldo Emerson Disputes the Charges On His Cell Phone Bill
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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January 5, 2022A Note of Reassurance from Your School District Regarding Our Updated Omicron Policies
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December 31, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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January 10, 2022How We Will Separate You from Any Lingering Hope and Other Important Topics of Today’s Faculty Meeting
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January 25, 2022The Biggest Issue Facing America Right Now Is People Stealing Puffy Jackets from Multi-Billion Dollar Corporations
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January 25, 2022Mrs. Dalloway Said She Would Buy the Rapid COVID Test Herself
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January 24, 2022“We Need to Get Back to Normal,” I Say, While I Continue to Live My Life Normally, As I Have Throughout This Pandemic
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January 24, 2022The Nine Months of Pregnancy, Ranked from Worst to Best