Articles by
Mark Rooke
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September 8, 2015Before We Break for Lunch, Let Me Repeat Everything Already Said at This Meeting at Least Twice
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July 8, 2015Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
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April 29, 2015I Wash My Face Like Women in Skin Care Commercials
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November 5, 2012Let’s Illustrate This Important Chemistry Concept Through a Word Problem About My Failing Marriage
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January 19, 2012Effective Immediately, the Entire Northwest Sales Team Will Be Sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl
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November 5, 2010Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Homeless Man Who Witnessed Me Totally Lose It Last Week
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July 15, 2010Ralph Waldo Emerson Disputes the Charges On His Cell Phone Bill
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October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
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October 12, 2018I Am Sick and Tired of Constantly Being Bullied for My Extreme Wealth and Political Power
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October 17, 2018I’m the Kind of Guy Who Says What He Thinks Even If It’s “Politically Incorrect” and Who Also Happens to Agree With Adolf Hitler On a Few Things
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October 17, 2018List: Trolley Problems That Make You, a Millennial Woman of Color, Wish You Had Two Trolleys
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October 17, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: “Us” and “Them”
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October 17, 2018Everything You Need to Know About Your Public Library’s New Murder Dome