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Articles by
Mark Rooke
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September 8, 2015Before We Break for Lunch, Let Me Repeat Everything Already Said at This Meeting at Least Twice
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July 8, 2015Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
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April 29, 2015I Wash My Face Like Women in Skin Care Commercials
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November 5, 2012Let’s Illustrate This Important Chemistry Concept Through a Word Problem About My Failing Marriage
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January 19, 2012Effective Immediately, the Entire Northwest Sales Team Will Be Sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl
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November 5, 2010An Open Letter to the Homeless Man Who Witnessed Me Totally Lose It Last Week
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July 15, 2010Ralph Waldo Emerson Disputes the Charges On His Cell Phone Bill
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule