MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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Articles by
Mike Langley
Mike Langley is a writer and a middle school English teacher in Brooklyn, NY. He is a Features Contributor at The Onion, and writes a weekly humor newsletter, The Libel.
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March 20, 2024I Am the New York Times’ Paywall, and If I Let Any Non-Subscribers in, They’ll Kill My Family
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October 4, 2023Well, I May Have Debased Myself to Become Speaker of the House, but At Least I Didn’t Accomplish Anything
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September 5, 2023Our Self-Driving Cars Will Save Countless Lives, But They Will Kill Some of You First
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May 15, 2023I Will Defend Free Speech to the Death. Or Until an Autocrat Asks Me to Stop
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March 10, 2023The NYPD’s Right-of-Way Regulations for Bike Lanes
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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January 14, 2021Asking Me to Stop Beating You with This Sock Full of Quarters Will Only Further Divide Our Nation
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April 25, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Mike Tyson, Marijuana Morsels, and the Difference Between Justice and Forgiveness
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April 25, 2024HR Pulls Your Kid in for a Performance Improvement Plan on Take Your Child to Work Day
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April 24, 2024Acknowledgments Page for the Email I Put Off for Seven Weeks and Finally Sent