“I urge my colleagues to vote against this divisive impeachment and realize that dividing America will not save this Republic. I urge my colleagues not simply to vote for what feels good.” — Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) during the House debate over impeaching Donald Trump for inciting the Capitol riots.

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The social bonds that hold us together are fraying, and sadly many of our citizens no longer trust the institutions that govern us. Right now, the most important thing is for us to come together as Americans and stop listening to those voices who would push us apart. That is why asking me to stop beating you with this sock full of quarters will only further divide our nation.

I understand that temperatures are running hot these days. Too often, it can feel like we’re talking past each other. For example, right now, you’re screaming out, “Jesus Christ, are those coins? Please stop!” With equal passion, I’m screaming, “Stop moving so that I can better hit you with this sock full of quarters.” This kind of partisan back-and-forth is exactly why so many of our fellow citizens have become disenchanted with the political process. You may think that the American people hear your pained cries for help as I strike you repeatedly about the chest and head, but what they really hear is “business as usual.”

Let’s put a stop to the same old partisan sniping and divisiveness about healthcare, defense, and who’s striking whom with a bulging sock full of US currency.

Frankly — and I’m the last to impute ill motives to my colleagues across the aisle — this whole thing begins to reek of Sock-Full-of-Quarters Derangement Syndrome. Time and time again, I’ve offered to work with the left in the spirit of bipartisanship. Yet each offered hand is met with the standard tired responses: “Please, stop!” and “You’re hurting me!” and “I have a family!”

It’s now abundantly clear that nothing we do is ever going to be enough. It’s always the same story. No good deed goes unpunished, and no sock full of quarters to the kidney goes unprotested. You and I know very well that the second I switch from quarters to something more forgiving, like dimes, the story would suddenly be “stop hitting me with a sock full of dimes.” Oh, brother!

I’m beginning to question if you even really want me to stop. The fact that I’m bludgeoning you seems to be all you ever talk about, anyway! God forbid I ever give you a moment to escape my withering blows, nurse your wounds, and enter rehabilitative care — you might have to actually, you know, govern!

I came to Washington to make a difference. I’m willing to work across the aisle. I’ve got ready-to-sign bills about real, kitchen-table issues that affect everyday Americans. But if our opponents continue to chase media headlines and push this divisive “I can’t see out of my right eye” narrative, then it will only further divide us.

Let’s come together. Let’s heal this country. Let’s let me continue to beat you with a sock full of quarters.