Below, please find the definitive right-of-way regulations for New York City’s bike lanes. Any lower-ranked item must yield to any higher-ranked item.

1. Marked NYPD vehicles

2. Unmarked NYPD vehicles

3. Vehicles with a Thin Blue Line flag bumper sticker

4. A dumpster with the Punisher logo on it

5. Film crews for Blue Bloods

6. Vehicles whose owner’s cousin used to work for the city (any city is fine)

7. Amazon delivery trucks

8. Pedestrians walking against traffic

9. Any double-parked motorized vehicle

10. Regular film crews

11. Any motorized vehicle whose driver “just needs to check something”

12. Tourists waiting to cross the street who might not realize they are standing in the bike lane

13. Abandoned vehicles

14. Pizza Rat

15. Revelers and merrymakers

16. Bearded men screaming, “The End is near!”

17. Currently on-fire vehicles

18. Calzone Mouse

19. Street preachers

20. Men begging their beautiful fiancées to take them back, because they’ve changed, they swear it this time, they’re not going back to that life, only legitimate business from now on—on their mother’s grave!

21. Persons dressed as Santa Claus (during Santacon)

22. Chip and/or Joanna Gaines

23. Clean-shaven men screaming, “The End is near!”

24. Spaghetti Opossum

25. People who ask you for donations

26. The ghost of Ed Koch

27. Street acrobats

28. Members of the Bowery Boys

29. Prosciutto Capybara

30. Tourists who are doing the “‘Ey, I’m walkin’ here!” bit on their first trip to the Big Apple

31. Persons dressed as Santa Claus (during ordinary time)

32. Balloon animal artists who say, “And something for the beautiful lady?”

33. Student film crews

34. Members of the FiDi Fancy Lads

35. Scamps

36. Hooligans

37. People who ask you for the time

38. The ghost of John Purroy Mitchel, New York’s famous “Boy Mayor”

39. Ruffians

40. Members of the TriBeCa Association of Licensed Real Estate Brokers, the city’s most vicious street gang

41. Street urchins

42. Sea urchins

43. Improv performers

44. Street magicians

45. People who ask you for the time as a side-door way of getting your guard down to then ask you for donations

46. Mimes

47. Street actuaries

48. A Depression-era tramp pulling out both pockets to indicate that he doesn’t have any money

49. Empty space

50. Cyclists