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Articles by
Spencer Hyde
Spencer Hyde left Russia for the United States where he studied Bolshevik-Leninist theory at the University of California, Pennsylvania. After his studies at UCalPenn, he went on to work for a Swedenborgian Hosier where he met the descendants of T.S Eliot. There, he began writing his first Post-Truth Treatise on how to eat Gluten Free while still respecting Indigenous cultures. He recently rejected an offer to sing a capella at Trump’s inauguration. If he could go back in time and witness any historical event, it would be the first Civil War reenactment. He has been published places.
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February 9, 2021Utilitarian Expository Comments Added to Films So Your Overly Analytical Father-in-Law Will Shut the Hell Up While the Movie’s Playing
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November 19, 2018A Parent’s Guide to Your Teenager’s Linguistic Distillation of Classic AP Lit Titles
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February 20, 2017The Teachers Guide to Famous Poetry Plagiarized by Undergrads Using Word’s Right-Click Synonym Finder
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March 22, 2012An All-American Percussionist’s Post-NCAA Tournament Game Recap
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March 26, 2021An Excerpt from My New Anxiety Dream Where I’m Blocking the Suez Canal
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March 22, 2021Job Posting: Assistant Professor of Robotics and Animal Husbandry with a Specialization in Dance
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April 2, 2021The Party of Family Values Would Like to Expand the Definition of “Family” and Also of “Values”
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January 5, 2015Reasons You Were Not Promoted That Are Totally Unrelated to Gender
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021For Your Return to the Office, We’ve Added Three Rooms for Guttural Screaming
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April 8, 2021The Hallmark Channel Presents: Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”