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Articles by
Spencer Hyde
Spencer Hyde left Russia for the United States where he studied Bolshevik-Leninist theory at the University of California, Pennsylvania. After his studies at UCalPenn, he went on to work for a Swedenborgian Hosier where he met the descendants of T.S Eliot. There, he began writing his first Post-Truth Treatise on how to eat Gluten Free while still respecting Indigenous cultures. He recently rejected an offer to sing a capella at Trump’s inauguration. If he could go back in time and witness any historical event, it would be the first Civil War reenactment. He has been published places.
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February 9, 2021Utilitarian Expository Comments Added to Films So Your Overly Analytical Father-in-Law Will Shut the Hell Up While the Movie’s Playing
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November 19, 2018A Parent’s Guide to Your Teenager’s Linguistic Distillation of Classic AP Lit Titles
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February 20, 2017The Teachers Guide to Famous Poetry Plagiarized by Undergrads Using Word’s Right-Click Synonym Finder
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March 22, 2012An All-American Percussionist’s Post-NCAA Tournament Game Recap
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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June 27, 2022We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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July 1, 2022FAQ: Freedom
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July 1, 2022A Declaration of Independence from the United States Supreme Court
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 30, 2022I’d Rather Drag Your Lifeless Body from This Party Than Wait Here While You Go to the Bathroom