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Articles by
Susan Harlan
Susan Harlan’s humor writing has appeared in venues including The Awl, The Billfold, Avidly, Queen Mob’s Tea House, The Hairpin, The Belladonna, Janice, and The Establishment. Her book Decorating a Room of One’s Own: Conversations on Interior Design with Miss Havisham, Jane Eyre, Victor Frankenstein, Elizabeth Bennet, Ishmael, and Other Literary Notables, which began as a column for The Toast, was published by Abrams in October 2018. She teaches English literature at Wake Forest University.
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March 7, 2019A Poem About Your University’s Absolute Intention to Absolutely Deal With Institutional Racism Seriously Absolutely Any Minute Now and Certainly One Day
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December 7, 2018A Poem About Your University’s New and Totally Not Time-Wasting Review Process for Tenure and Promotion
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September 5, 2018Even More Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
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August 29, 2018Men Explain My Syllabus to Me
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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January 15, 2018Key Ring Chronicles: Miniature Blue Ridge Parkway Sign
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December 12, 2017Poem About Your University President’s Completely Reasonable Four Million-Dollar Compensation Package
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October 3, 2017More Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
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July 29, 2017Top Gun’s Maverick Addresses the Application of the Term “Maverick” to Senator John McCain
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June 9, 2017Poem About Your University’s Brand New Community Initiative
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May 10, 2017Facebook Genres for English Professors
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March 24, 2017A Poem About Your University’s Brand New Institute’s Conference
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner