McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Susan Harlan
Susan Harlan’s humor writing has appeared in venues including The Awl, The Billfold, Avidly, Queen Mob’s Tea House, The Hairpin, The Belladonna, Janice, and The Establishment. Her book Decorating a Room of One’s Own: Conversations on Interior Design with Miss Havisham, Jane Eyre, Victor Frankenstein, Elizabeth Bennet, Ishmael, and Other Literary Notables, which began as a column for The Toast, was published by Abrams in October 2018. She teaches English literature at Wake Forest University.
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March 7, 2019A Poem About Your University’s Absolute Intention to Absolutely Deal With Institutional Racism Seriously Absolutely Any Minute Now and Certainly One Day
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December 7, 2018A Poem About Your University’s New and Totally Not Time-Wasting Review Process for Tenure and Promotion
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September 5, 2018Even More Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
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August 29, 2018Men Explain My Syllabus to Me
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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January 15, 2018Key Ring Chronicles: Miniature Blue Ridge Parkway Sign
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December 12, 2017Poem About Your University President’s Completely Reasonable Four Million-Dollar Compensation Package
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October 3, 2017More Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
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July 29, 2017Top Gun’s Maverick Addresses the Application of the Term “Maverick” to Senator John McCain
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June 9, 2017Poem About Your University’s Brand New Community Initiative
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May 10, 2017Facebook Genres for English Professors
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March 24, 2017A Poem About Your University’s Brand New Institute’s Conference
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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January 29, 2025Reasons Your Password Was Rejected
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February 12, 2025Trump Is Just Threatening to Do Something Stupid as a Terrible Negotiation Tactic
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February 12, 2025We’re Being Maximally Transparent. For Instance, We [REDACTED]
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February 12, 2025McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Author Ahmed Naji and Translator Katharine Halls
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February 12, 2025I Know This Is a Bad Time, but I Would Like a Refund for My Ticket to Our American Cousin