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Articles by
Tom Ellison
Tom Ellison lives in the Washington, DC area where he writes humor, arguably. You can find more of his work here.
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January 9, 2024The Mainstream Media Doesn’t Want You to Know This Thing I Just Learned from the Mainstream Media
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December 11, 2023Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up
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November 16, 2023Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More Pizza
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
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July 12, 2023Airbnb Reviews of Henry David Thoreau’s Cabin
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April 24, 2023Your Spoon Will Be Ready to Use After This Software Update
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March 3, 2023I’ve Optimized My Health to Make My Life as Long and Unpleasant as Possible
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February 20, 2023It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and by “Man In the Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
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January 26, 2023Peaches the Instagram Dachshund Wants a Cut
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January 9, 2023I Just Want to Start Lifting Weights Without Getting Red-Pilled
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January 26, 2022A Scathing Review of Your Thirties: The Video Game
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April 24, 2024Acknowledgments Page for the Email I Put Off for Seven Weeks and Finally Sent
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April 24, 2024Comic Book Onomatopoeia and Their Real-World Counterparts
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April 23, 2024In Retrospect, Hiring Macbeth as Our Tinned Soup Ambassador Was a Bad Idea
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April 23, 2024Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Golf Course, Lightning