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Articles by
Tom Ellison
Tom Ellison lives in the Washington, DC area where he writes humor, arguably. You can find more of his work here.
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May 15, 2024Final Exam for the Class “What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently” Taught by Howard Dean
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January 9, 2024The Mainstream Media Doesn’t Want You to Know This Thing I Just Learned from the Mainstream Media
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December 11, 2023Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up
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November 16, 2023Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More Pizza
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
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July 12, 2023Airbnb Reviews of Henry David Thoreau’s Cabin
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April 24, 2023Your Spoon Will Be Ready to Use After This Software Update
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March 3, 2023I’ve Optimized My Health to Make My Life as Long and Unpleasant as Possible
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February 20, 2023It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and by “Man In the Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
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January 26, 2023Peaches the Instagram Dachshund Wants a Cut
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January 9, 2023I Just Want to Start Lifting Weights Without Getting Red-Pilled
Trending 🔥
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian