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Articles by
Tom Ellison
Tom Ellison lives in the Washington, DC area where he writes humor, arguably. You can find more of his work here.
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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January 16, 2025Brainstorming Notes of the Typical Male American Spy Novelist
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November 11, 2024Wow, Trump Has Already Fixed So Many Problems That Definitely Existed
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen
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August 1, 2024American Versus European Out-of-Office Replies
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May 15, 2024Final Exam for the Class “What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently” Taught by Howard Dean
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January 9, 2024The Mainstream Media Doesn’t Want You to Know This Thing I Just Learned from the Mainstream Media
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December 11, 2023Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up
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November 16, 2023Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More Pizza
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
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July 12, 2023Airbnb Reviews of Henry David Thoreau’s Cabin
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April 29, 2025We’re the Pro-Family Party; We’re Also Deporting Families