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All posts tagged
holidays
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December 14, 2020So, You Bought an Ornamental Nut Sack
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December 11, 2020Ugly Holiday Sweaters for 2020
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October 29, 2020Out-of-Season Christmas Music Is a Menace, and the Christmas Commission Will Protect You
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July 3, 2020The Fourth of July: Myth vs. Fact
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July 3, 2020We Apologize That Instead of July Fourth Bunting, We Accidentally Shipped You a Box Full of Snakes
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July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All
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April 10, 2020Hi, I’m Jesus, And When I Get Back, I Want All The Eggs Hidden
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December 20, 2019A Holiday Guide to Weeping Pillows
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October 14, 2019Federal Holidays Are Not For Preserving Democracy. They’re For Celebrating Perpetrators of Genocide
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July 1, 2019How to Celebrate Canada Day Like a Canadian
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule