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All posts tagged
moderates
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March 4, 2020I Am the Mythical Obama-Trump Voter, and From Now Until Election Day You Must Worship Me As Your God
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February 5, 2020I’ll Have to Vote For Trump Because the Democrats Are Too Liberal and Also Because I’m Possessed By the Demon Abaddon and His Army of Locusts
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January 28, 2020Democrats Must Appeal to the Tiny Margin of People Who Voted for Trump and Might Be Open to Supporting a Moderate Democrat in 2020
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November 12, 2019Liberals Must Stop Condemning My Moral Cowardice and General Ineptitude
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October 15, 2019Bernie’s Policies Are Good, But How Can He Appeal to the Absolute Worst People Ever?
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August 9, 2019We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter
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August 1, 2019I Am Running for President and My Message to the American People Is Simple: Please Don’t Yell at Me
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July 31, 2019We Can’t Risk Losing to Donald Trump By Believing In Anything
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July 30, 2019A Moderate’s Guide to Winning the 2020 Election
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July 18, 2019I Am Against Identity Politics, by Which I Mean I Am In Favor of White Identity Politics
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian