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All posts tagged
outer-space
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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December 4, 2019My Worst First Dates On Elon Musk’s Mars Colony
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March 27, 2019Our Historic All-Female Spacewalk Will Now Feature a Male Astronaut!
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December 4, 2017Your Mass Shooting Thoughts and Prayers Are Accidentally Going to the Angry God of a Distant Planet
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November 29, 2016My Name is Elon Musk and I Want to Help You Die in Space
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August 26, 2016Doing Science: The Oxygen Crisis, or, Sometimes These Things Name Themselves
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April 22, 2015We Got Big Plans for You, Newly Discovered Planet
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April 22, 2014I’m a 4-Billion-Year-Old Microbe On an Asteroid Heading Straight Toward Earth and I’m So Excited to Hang Out, You Guys
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February 24, 2014You Never Think You’re Going to Be the Type of Space Captain to Throw Someone Out the Airlock
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January 31, 2012Exit Row Instructions for Passengers On the Space Ark
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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June 27, 2022We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
Recently
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July 1, 2022FAQ: Freedom
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July 1, 2022A Declaration of Independence from the United States Supreme Court
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 30, 2022I’d Rather Drag Your Lifeless Body from This Party Than Wait Here While You Go to the Bathroom