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All posts tagged
stock-market
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January 29, 2021Manipulating Mario Kart and Using the Rainbow Road Shortcut Is Wrong and Must Be Prosecuted (Except When I Do it)
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January 28, 2021The Important Thing Is to Keep Blindly Pouring All Your Money into the Stock Market
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February 9, 2018Dispatches from the Resistance: The Counter-Memo Catastrophe
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January 24, 2012American Policy Suggestions from a Chicago Sports Fan: Bull Market: How the Chicago Bulls Influence the S&P 500
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October 27, 2011Bear Market
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June 9, 2011Initial Pop Offerings
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December 3, 2009Biblical Figures of the NYSE
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June 18, 2004What the Stock Pages Would Look Like if Businesses Chose Ticker Abbreviations the Way Bar Patrons Choose Initials for Arcade-Game High-Score Lists
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April 2, 2004Currently Available Stock Symbols that Might Lead to an Underwhelming IPO
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 27, 2022On the Eighth Day, God Was Asked to Come Back to the Office Because Red Flags Were Raised with Certain Elements of His Work
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
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May 26, 2022Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
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May 26, 2022We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled