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January 11, 2023What to Do with Your Twitter Account Now That Elon Musk Has Given Control of the Company to a Translucent Floating Orb Full of Crane Eggs
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December 19, 2022Now That I’ve Quit Twitter, I Have So Much More Time to Cook This Pot Roast
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December 15, 2022I Believe in Free Speech, So Long as I Get to Change What Free Speech Means to Whatever I Want
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November 29, 2022T. S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land” as Occupy Democrats Tweets
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November 28, 2022Goodbye to All That: A Writer on Leaving Twitter
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November 15, 2022Fifteen Ways to Share Your Joke After Twitter Implodes
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November 11, 2022Introducing Mr. Musk’s Cure-All Company Elixir
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November 10, 2022Norman Bates Checks Out of Twitter
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May 12, 2022Please Don’t Make Me Write a Think Piece about How Unbanning Trump from Twitter Would Actually Be a Triumph for Freedom
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May 10, 2022A Reimagining of Your Uterus, Which I, Elon Musk, Now Own
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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February 3, 2023Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them
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February 2, 2023Elden Ring or Tenure-Track Professor?