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All posts tagged
zoos
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February 16, 2022I’m Your Three-Year-Old, and I’m Not Leaving Until I’ve Touched Every Goddamn Garbage Can in This Zoo
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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November 24, 2008Gossip Gorilla
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February 1, 2006Tom Cruise Speaks at Official Unveiling of Zoo’s New Tiger Enclosure
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August 29, 2003An Open Letter to the Panda Handler at the San Diego Zoo
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December 3, 1999Hypothetical Transcript of the Discussion Leading to the Decision to Euthanize Hsing-Hsing the Giant Panda
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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February 3, 2023Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
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February 3, 2023I’m the Kid from The Red Balloon, and That Thing Over Montana Is Not from China
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them