A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Update!

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We need just 460 more backers (at any amount—even $1!) in order to get an additional $20,000 from MailChimp. Their support is within reach—and will go a long way toward helping us get more great writing into the world—but we need everyone’s help to get there! If you’ve already backed this campaign, your pledge will count toward the backer challenge. We can’t thank you enough for supporting us!

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

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ARCHIVE

List: Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Kickboxer, or the Belligerent Asshole Who Just Cost Me My Job at the Bar?
by Brett Burns (4/1/2005)

List: Ten Very Hip Poems That Didn’t Go Over So Well at the Poetry Slam Last Weekend
by Kevin Holiday (4/1/2005)

List: Sure Signs Your Vegan Co-op Has Been Taken Over by the Marx Brothers
by Claire Harlan-Orsi (4/1/2005)

Gamble Like a Pro With This Exclusive Final Four Insider Information
by Anthony Jaffe (4/1/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Global Warming
by Mike Ward (3/31/2005)

List: Self-Delusional Statements Made by My First (And Hopefully Last) Ex-Fiancé
by Lynette Cain (3/30/2005)

List: Unspoken Afterthoughts to Childhood Catch Phrases
by Matthew Zils (3/30/2005)

List: Three Things I Learned While Using the Lavatory at Local Boston-Area Restaurants
by Jonathan Pickering (3/30/2005)

The Thrusting Ape Health and Fitness Club: Member Testimonials
by Tim Coffield (3/30/2005)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: What Will Happen in the 2005 Baseball Season—American League
by Rick Paulas (3/30/2005)

Sir Isaac Newton’s Notes, Before the Discovery of Gravity
by Jamie Allen (3/29/2005)

Sestina: Alpaca-Farm-Economy and Tomato-Can-Label Sestina (After Reading The Art Spirit by Robert Henri 17 Years After It Was Assigned in a Freshman Life-Drawing Class)
by David Koehn (3/29/2005)

List: Failed Soft-Drink Product Names
by Rob Eccles (3/28/2005)

List: Example Sentences From A Chinese-English Dictionary (Revised Edition), Beijing: Foreign Languages Teaching and Research Press, 1997
by Phil Tinari (3/28/2005)

List: The Primary Series of Poses in Yoga for Depressives
by Carmen Nobel (3/28/2005)

List: Types of People and Things That Have Been Shot by Charles Bronson
by Seth Fried (3/28/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Marvin Gaye Explains What He Heard Through the Grapevine
by John Moe (3/28/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Four
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/28/2005)

Sestina: Napoleon Dynastina
by Randy Lucas (3/27/2005)

List: Implausible Claims Made by Vanilla Ice in His 1990 No. 1 Hit “Ice Ice Baby.”
by Doug Erickson (3/25/2005)

List: Dance Moves the Man-Mountain Standing in Front of Me at Beastie Boys Last Night Amused Bystanders With and How One Might “Feel” If One Performed Them
by Marieke Hardy (3/25/2005)

I Have March Madness
by Wendy Molyneux (3/24/2005)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: What Will Happen in the 2005 Baseball Season—National League
by Rick Paulas (3/24/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Three
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/23/2005)

Love Letters of a Closed-Caption Editor and a Telegram Operator
by Jaime J. Weinman (3/23/2005)

Sestina: The Nesting Doll
by Marly Youmans (3/23/2005)

The Lyrics to the Billy Joel Song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” If They Were Written by a Muskrat Instead of by Billy Joel
by David Litt (3/22/2005)

Ben Greenman’s Fake Celebrity Musicals: Fragments From Steroids! The Musical.
by Ben Greenman (3/21/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Two
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/20/2005)

List: Cinematic Expressions of Inner Self-Loathing If There Were No Mirrors to Smash
by Ross Murray (3/18/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.