List: The Collected Apologies of Lawrence H. Summers, President of Harvard
by Laurence Hughes (2/25/2005)

List: Possible New Terms for the Old and Tired Term “Brainstorming.”
by Ed Davis (2/25/2005)

List: Terminology From a Veterinary Textbook and Potential Names for Hardcore Bands
by K. Thom and Steve Jacobek (2/25/2005)

Dear People Magazine, Keep Up the Great Cyclops Coverage
by Jack Pendarvis (2/25/2005)

A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from _2001: A Space Odyssey
by Patrick Cassels (2/25/2005)

Less Satisfying Inspirational Tales
by Mike Squeo (2/25/2005)

List: Two Recipes
by Tim Carvell (2/25/2005)

Everyone Knows Jose
by Jason Roeder (2/24/2005)

List: Banned Books in the Year 2191
by Brendon Lloyd (2/23/2005)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: “One Tree Hill” by U2
by Julie Vick (2/23/2005)

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: Cases 35 & 36
by Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath (2/22/2005)

Highlights of the 2004-2005 NHL Season
by Christopher Monks (2/21/2005)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: Warning: This Column Can Cause Fetal Defects
by Kevin Dolgin (2/19/2005)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Putting an Orange-Juice-like Drink in the Hopper: An Interview with Tony Meehan
by Suzanne Yeagley (2/19/2005)

Dan Kennedy Solves Your Problems With Paper: Part 12
by Dan Kennedy (2/19/2005)

List: Things That Paper Could Be Replaced With to Make Rock, Paper, Scissors More Believable
by Sam Means (2/18/2005)

List: Things You Don’t Expect to See on a Baby Shower Announcement
by Jonathan Shipley (2/18/2005)

List: Muppets That Didn’t Make It
by Scott Shemo (2/18/2005)

B.R. Cohen’s Annals of Science: Vol. VII: The Myth of Fingerprints; or, The Case of Duplicate Toe Jam
by B.R. Cohen (2/18/2005)

Rejected York Peppermint Pattie Commercial Blurbs
by Don Pizarro (2/17/2005)

List: Ways Jesus Saves
by Aaron Burch, Christopher Monks, Elizabeth Ellen, Jensen Whelan, Laura Carney, Matthew Simmons, Melissa Bell, Pasha Malla and Steven Seighman (2/16/2005)

List: Extreme Ways to Break Your Arm
by Rick Stoeckel (2/16/2005)

List: Little-Known Song Titles That Answer Questions Posed in Better-Known Songs
by Jacob Sager Weinstein (2/16/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Memo Distributed Among the “Project Loverboy” Staff, Regarding “Turn Me Loose.”
by John Moe (2/16/2005)

My Family’s Power Rankings
by Christopher Monks (2/15/2005)

Dispatches From a Public Librarian: Dispatch 15: Corny Library Pickup Lines, and How Librarians Effectively Shoot Them Down
by Scott Douglas (2/14/2005)

Things a Lieutenant Would Say to His Men Before Combat If, Instead of Soldiers in a Central American Revolutionary Conflict, He Thought They Were Characters in Contra for Nintendo
by Nick Confalone (2/14/2005)

Sestina: Bushestina
by Jake Kennedy (2/14/2005)

List: Four Ways in Which My Life Is Just Like Pac-Man’s
by John Crownover (2/11/2005)

List: Revised Titles of Love Songs I Wrote About the Shitty Bookshelf I Purchased From Wal-Mart (in Chronological Order)
by George Wukoson (2/11/2005)

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