ARCHIVE

Sestina: Alpaca-Farm-Economy and Tomato-Can-Label Sestina (After Reading The Art Spirit by Robert Henri 17 Years After It Was Assigned in a Freshman Life-Drawing Class)
by David Koehn (3/29/2005)

List: Failed Soft-Drink Product Names
by Rob Eccles (3/28/2005)

List: Example Sentences From A Chinese-English Dictionary (Revised Edition), Beijing: Foreign Languages Teaching and Research Press, 1997
by Phil Tinari (3/28/2005)

List: The Primary Series of Poses in Yoga for Depressives
by Carmen Nobel (3/28/2005)

List: Types of People and Things That Have Been Shot by Charles Bronson
by Seth Fried (3/28/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Marvin Gaye Explains What He Heard Through the Grapevine
by John Moe (3/28/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Four
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/28/2005)

Sestina: Napoleon Dynastina
by Randy Lucas (3/27/2005)

List: Implausible Claims Made by Vanilla Ice in His 1990 No. 1 Hit “Ice Ice Baby.”
by Doug Erickson (3/25/2005)

List: Dance Moves the Man-Mountain Standing in Front of Me at Beastie Boys Last Night Amused Bystanders With and How One Might “Feel” If One Performed Them
by Marieke Hardy (3/25/2005)

I Have March Madness
by Wendy Molyneux (3/24/2005)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: What Will Happen in the 2005 Baseball Season—National League
by Rick Paulas (3/24/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Three
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/23/2005)

Love Letters of a Closed-Caption Editor and a Telegram Operator
by Jaime J. Weinman (3/23/2005)

Sestina: The Nesting Doll
by Marly Youmans (3/23/2005)

The Lyrics to the Billy Joel Song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” If They Were Written by a Muskrat Instead of by Billy Joel
by David Litt (3/22/2005)

Ben Greenman’s Fake Celebrity Musicals: Fragments From Steroids! The Musical.
by Ben Greenman (3/21/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part Two
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/20/2005)

List: Cinematic Expressions of Inner Self-Loathing If There Were No Mirrors to Smash
by Ross Murray (3/18/2005)

List: A List of Phrases, Common in Our Language, That Become Awkward in a Dimension of Unending Pain
by Aaron Esser-Kahn (3/18/2005)

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn And Noam Chomsky, Recorded For The Return Of the King (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD: Part One
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (3/18/2005)

Dispatches From a Real McSweeney: How Not to Write a Short Story
by Timothy McSweeney (3/17/2005)

To Change the Carburetor
by Jenn Guitart (3/17/2005)

Monologue: 2008 Presidential Stump Speech of Billy Bush, Cousin of George W. Bush and Access Hollywood Entertainment Reporter
by Teddy Wayne (3/16/2005)

Open Letters: Three Open Letters to the Telephone Joneses With Whom I Cannot Keep Up
by Alan C. Baird (3/16/2005)

List: Clocks Ranked According to the Ease With Which One Can Tell Time From Them (Easiest to Hardest)
by Allie Oestreich (3/15/2005)

List: Names That Could Possibly Pass as Cries of Passion If Accidentally Yelled During Sex With Anyone Not So Named
by Emily Lloyd (3/15/2005)

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: Case 37
by Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath (3/15/2005)

List: Seven Items Found in Hugh Hefner’s Overnight Bag
by Scott Leslie (3/14/2005)

How to Talk to Your Kids About Almost Anything
by Wendy Molyneux (3/14/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.