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ARCHIVE

List: Things I Told Customers While Working at a Starbucks, in a Mall, in the Baltimore Suburbs
by Stephanie Manuzak (10/21/2003)

List: Possible Names for a Supergroup Consisting Solely of Jack Black and Jack White
by Scott Sand (10/21/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Man Who Tattooed Me
by Scott Neumyer (10/21/2003)

A Letter That Seems To Be From My Garden Gnomes
by Michael Knox (10/21/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Dot Matrix Printer
by Moshe Zvi Marvit (10/21/2003)

History’s Notable Television Programs, Reconsidered
by Tim Carvell (10/20/2003)

Q&O: A Conversation with Poet-O, the Poet Laureate of Central Park: Part I
by Joe Pacheco (10/16/2003)

Richard Parks Answers Your Bluegrass Music and Bluegrass Music-Related Questions: Column 3
by Richard Parks (10/16/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: Long Distance Song Parody Dedication: “Polyester Bride.”
by Carlton Doby (10/15/2003)

Sestina: Dark Hollow
by Grace Pisano (10/14/2003)

Journal Entries from Sara Grady, Who is Studying Horseshoe Crabs on Cape Cod: October 14
by Sara Grady (10/14/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Umlaut
by Josh Abraham (10/13/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Toshihiro Nishikado, Designer/Programmer of Space Invaders
by Jason Bacasa (10/13/2003)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Never Been to Jitterbugs, An Interview With Michele Beardsley
by Suzanne Yeagley (10/13/2003)

Dispatches From Roy Kesey, An American Guy Married to a Peruvian Diplomat Living in China: Dispatch 6: If the Market Near My House Were a Baseball Game, and You Were a Fan
by Roy Kesey (10/13/2003)

List: Dee Snider’s Notes from Workshopping a B-Side to “Stay Hungry.”
by B.R. Cohen (10/10/2003)

List: Reverse-Chronology Films or Imitation Designer Colognes
by Scott Bailey (10/10/2003)

List: How One Would Have Seen Various Film Franchises Had They Been Directed By Matthew Barney
by Matt Myers (10/10/2003)

List: Things for Which I Was Either Reprimanded or Outright Suspended Without Pay When I Was a Teenage Universal Studios Hollywood Tour Guide in the Late Eighties
by Scott Bailey (10/10/2003)

List: Story Endings O. Henry Didn’t Use
by J.D. Finch (10/10/2003)

Opening
by J. Robert Lennon (10/9/2003)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: “Sometimes” by James Just Totally Does It for Me
by Mike Kwolek (10/7/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: Serial Fillers
by Carlton Doby (10/7/2003)

Jonathan Bailey’s Out-Of-Office Auto-Responder for 12 September, 2003
by Wells Oliver (10/7/2003)

Sestina: Okay Precious
by Mike Kwolek (10/6/2003)

10 Signs Your Guy’s Gotta Go
by Lee Tyler (10/6/2003)

List: Rejected Titles for Hymns
by Mollie Wilson (10/3/2003)

List: Alphabetical Listing of the Occupations of the People Running for Governor of California (As Listed on the “Official Sample Ballot”)
by Tom O'Connor (10/3/2003)

List: Geology Terms That Sound Like Names for Small Forest People
by Vance Anderson (10/3/2003)

List: Geology Terms That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t
by Vance Anderson (10/3/2003)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.