ARCHIVE

I Lost My Greeting-Card Gig Because of My Drinking
by Dan Kennedy (10/28/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: The Blue Monkey
by John Jay Osborn, Jr. (10/27/2004)

Grimace Speaks to a Geneticist
by David Ng (10/27/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Anybody Dead?
by Jake Morrissey (10/26/2004)

I’m Afraid the Children Are Our Future
by John Moe (10/26/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Regrets
by Susan Gerhard (10/25/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: The Great Pumpkin
by Norm Augustinus (10/25/2004)

Sestina: Literary-Gossip Sestina #1
by Keith O'Neill (10/25/2004)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: What Went Wrong in the 2004 Season
by Rick Paulas (10/24/2004)

Gabe Hudson’s Dear Mr. President Letters: Batch 22
by Various Letter Writers (10/22/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Halloween: A Love Story
by Rodes Fishburne (10/22/2004)

Dispatches From Roy Kesey, An American Guy Married to a Peruvian Diplomat Living in China: Dispatch 18: Five Things I Like
by Roy Kesey (10/22/2004)

Jokes
by Andy Richter (10/22/2004)

List: Rejected Names for Smokeless Tobacco Products
by Jen Bingham (10/22/2004)

List: Versions of Well-Known Films in Which the Protagonist Has Been Replaced With Leon Trotsky
by Erick Peterson (10/22/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: The Hobo Conundrum
by Ethan Waters (10/21/2004)

Excerpts From Dagwood Bumstead’s Intervention
by John Moe (10/21/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Marv, Fawn, and Me
by Beth Lisick (10/20/2004)

List: Dissertation Titles That Suggest the Author Was Preoccupied With Other Issues at the Time of Writing
by Zhubin Parang (10/20/2004)

List: Inappropriate “Do It” Slogans
by Jeremy Martin (10/20/2004)

List: Recent Occurrences at Owl Creek Bridge
by Lucas Klauss (10/20/2004)

List: The Search Continues: Places Where O.J. Simpson Has Not Found the Killer
by Dan Kennedy (10/20/2004)

List: Bands and Musicians Whose Careers Would Be Quite Different Had They Initially Misspelled Their Own Names
by Chuck Whittington (10/20/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Enormous Bruise on My Upper Right Arm, Kind of Near the Bicep, That I Acquired Last Weekend While Playing Football
by Annette Janik (10/20/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Yeah, I’m Muhammad Ali
by Mary Roach (10/19/2004)

Effective Application Strategies for Mrs. Schobel’s Morning-Recess Dodgeball
by Chris Guthrie (10/19/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Bush Bum
by Bob Tedeschi (10/18/2004)

Explaining Novelty T-shirts to My Mom
by Pasha Malla (10/18/2004)

Sestina: Posttraumatic Small-Talk Disorder
by Brooks Haxton (10/18/2004)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: The Door to Hell: Paris, France
by Kevin Dolgin (10/17/2004)

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As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. Click the button to donate. Thank you!