List: Things Not Overheard at a Conceptual-Art Gallery Opening
by Jason Persse (6/21/2005)

List: Ad Slogans That Would Be Perfect for Levitra, But, Unfortunately, They Have Already Been Used
by Hart Seely (6/21/2005)

Monologue: Thak, The Most Organized Member Of The Party Of Roughly 70 People Who Originally Settled North America
by Richard D. Allen (6/21/2005)

Sestina: My New Pet Word Is Mozzarella
by Amanda Nadelberg (6/20/2005)

Health Watch: Four Silent Killers
by Justin Kahn (6/20/2005)

Sestina: Dear Dirk (Nowitzki) … Mailbag: Adapted From a Feature on, March 2005
by Angela Genusa (6/17/2005)

Honeybee Waggle Dance Reviews
by Jim Stallard (6/17/2005)

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts
by Wendy Molyneux (6/16/2005)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: Buy Low, Sell High
by Rick Paulas (6/16/2005)

List: Actual Examples of Model Conversational Phrases That the Travel Guide Les Etats-Unis Dans Votre Poche: Edition Bilingue (Haiter, 1980) Felt Were So Central to the Experiences Likely to be Undergone by French Visitors to America That It Included Them on
by Beth Maynard (6/15/2005)

List: Half-Assed Erotic Film Classics
by Michael Rodman (6/15/2005)

List: Things That, If Knowing Is Half the Battle, Might Be the Other Half
by Nico Vreeland (6/15/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Human Resources Department of the Superfriends
by David Ng (6/15/2005)

An Episode Of Star Trek Tediously Written For An Audience Entirely Composed Of Remote Amazon Tribesmen
by Andrew Golden (6/14/2005)

List: Top Three Things Q*bert Is Pissed About Today
by Mike Singer (6/13/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Eight-Hour Workday
by Olivia Roth (6/12/2005)

Monologue: George Jefferson’s Thoughts on Mind and Style
by Ben Greenman (6/10/2005)

The Complexities of Human Sport
by Josh Wilson (6/10/2005)

Sestina: The Paul Bunyan Sestina
by Alex Cigale (6/9/2005)

Bawdy Best Man Speeches, Given By The Actual Best Man On Earth At The Time
by Teddy Wayne (6/9/2005)

List: Discarded Titles for Toni Braxton’s 1996 Hit “Unbreak My Heart.”
by Thomas Desmond (6/8/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Attention, Mr. Axl Rose: We Did Not Feel Welcome in the Jungle
by John Moe (6/8/2005)

Dan Kennedy Solves Your Problems With Paper: Part 14
by Dan Kennedy (6/5/2005)

List: How Other School Subjects Would Be Spelled by People Who Refer to the Three R’s As “Reading, ’Riting, and ’Rithmetic.”
by Cecil Hoff and Rich Mehrenberg (6/3/2005)

List: Fish Names That Sound Like Unfortunate 7th-Graders
by Jeanne P. Fratello (6/3/2005)

B.R. Cohen’s Annals of Science: Vol. VIII: Nothing Phallic Going On Here
by B.R. Cohen (6/2/2005)

List: Boner: Noun, Informal, a Blunder or an Error
by Lucas Klauss (6/1/2005)

List: Errors in Communication Between My Hairdresser and Me, in the Form of What I Said and What He Heard
by Jez Burrows (6/1/2005)

List: How to Tell If Your Vegetarian Girlfriend Has Been Sneaking Meat
by Jennifer Neely (6/1/2005)

Open Letters: An Open Letter To The Manufacturers Of Infant Sleepwear
by M. B. Jones (6/1/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.