Open Letters: An Open Letter to My 22-Year-Old Self
by Mike Jones (11/15/2004)

List: Why the Lone Ranger Gave Up His Cell Phone
by Greg Howard (11/12/2004)

List: Why Hollywood Hates the Metric System
by David Cristofano (11/12/2004)

Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise: … And What Did We Learn?
by Rick Paulas (11/12/2004)

Things I Think May Be in My Mother’s Letter to My Husband That Arrived One Week After the Wedding
by Ann Vogel (11/11/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Eyebrows
by Don Moorhead (11/11/2004)

List: Other Things Donna Summer Might Have Been Seeking When Singing “Hot Stuff.”
by Peter Cunniffe (11/10/2004)

List: Cruel Nicknames for Overweight Vampires
by Amy Cassner-Sems, Cal Clinchard, Marty Sems and Nathan Chandler (11/10/2004)

List: Rappers I Thought Were Asian
by Sujan Hong (11/10/2004)

The Riddler Makes an Announcement
by John Moe (11/10/2004)

Obscure Chinese Proverbs
by Dennis Mahoney (11/9/2004)

Sestina: Sestina for Elton John
by Steve Almond (11/9/2004)

On the Utility of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a Base of Operations for Various Well-Known Superheroes or Super Teams
by Keith Pille (11/8/2004)

List: Action Verbs to Use Sparingly on Résumés
by Dave Ash (11/5/2004)

List: Sentences Containing Surfing Terms That May Be Uttered After Drinking Coffee on an Empty Stomach
by Michelle McKenzie (11/5/2004)

List: General Broadcasting Standards Concerning Upper-Torso Nudity
by Dayvid Figler (11/5/2004)

Sumotalk: Kyushu Basho
by Kenji Heilman and Mike Wesemann (11/5/2004)

Notes from a Neighborhood War
by John Warner (11/5/2004)

Mother-Daughter Talks That Didn’t Quite Come Off
by Judson Merrill (11/4/2004)

Have You Heard the One About President Bush?
by Mike Sacks (11/4/2004)

Diary of a Congressional Candidate in Florida’s Fourth Congressional District : The Diary
by Richard Grayson (11/3/2004)

Why Is My Baby Crying?
by Eric Silver (11/3/2004)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Gym Shorts That Are Not in My Gym Bag
by J. Mohan (11/3/2004)

List: What Not to Be in the Middle of When the Earthquake Comes
by Charlie Hopper (11/2/2004)

List: First Names of Women Who Probably Shouldn’t Marry Me, Given My Surname
by Kevin M. Hyde (11/2/2004)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Buying Malt Liquor With Nickels
by Suzanne Yeagley (11/2/2004)

Sestina: The Sestina of O
by Eric Charles Lemay (11/2/2004)

List: Candidates Running in the 2004 General Election Whose Names Feature Food or Drink
by JC Bellringer (11/1/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: Memory of Halloween, Only Slightly Haunted
by Andrew Sean Greer (11/1/2004)

McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: This Is Not the Droid We’re Looking For
by Alex Wellen (11/1/2004)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. Click the button to donate. Thank you!