A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Update!

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We need just 444 more backers (at any amount—even $1!) in order to get an additional $20,000 from MailChimp. Their support is within reach—and will go a long way toward helping us get more great writing into the world—but we need everyone’s help to get there! If you’ve already backed this campaign, your pledge will count toward the backer challenge. We can’t thank you enough for supporting us!

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

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ARCHIVE

A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from _2001: A Space Odyssey
by Patrick Cassels (2/25/2005)

Less Satisfying Inspirational Tales
by Mike Squeo (2/25/2005)

List: Two Recipes
by Tim Carvell (2/25/2005)

Everyone Knows Jose
by Jason Roeder (2/24/2005)

List: Banned Books in the Year 2191
by Brendon Lloyd (2/23/2005)

Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: “One Tree Hill” by U2
by Julie Vick (2/23/2005)

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives: Cases 35 & 36
by Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath (2/22/2005)

Highlights of the 2004-2005 NHL Season
by Christopher Monks (2/21/2005)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: Warning: This Column Can Cause Fetal Defects
by Kevin Dolgin (2/19/2005)

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Putting an Orange-Juice-like Drink in the Hopper: An Interview with Tony Meehan
by Suzanne Yeagley (2/19/2005)

Dan Kennedy Solves Your Problems With Paper: Part 12
by Dan Kennedy (2/19/2005)

List: Things That Paper Could Be Replaced With to Make Rock, Paper, Scissors More Believable
by Sam Means (2/18/2005)

List: Things You Don’t Expect to See on a Baby Shower Announcement
by Jonathan Shipley (2/18/2005)

List: Muppets That Didn’t Make It
by Scott Shemo (2/18/2005)

B.R. Cohen’s Annals of Science: Vol. VII: The Myth of Fingerprints; or, The Case of Duplicate Toe Jam
by B.R. Cohen (2/18/2005)

Rejected York Peppermint Pattie Commercial Blurbs
by Don Pizarro (2/17/2005)

List: Ways Jesus Saves
by Aaron Burch, Christopher Monks, Elizabeth Ellen, Jensen Whelan, Laura Carney, Matthew Simmons, Melissa Bell, Pasha Malla and Steven Seighman (2/16/2005)

List: Extreme Ways to Break Your Arm
by Rick Stoeckel (2/16/2005)

List: Little-Known Song Titles That Answer Questions Posed in Better-Known Songs
by Jacob Sager Weinstein (2/16/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Memo Distributed Among the “Project Loverboy” Staff, Regarding “Turn Me Loose.”
by John Moe (2/16/2005)

My Family’s Power Rankings
by Christopher Monks (2/15/2005)

Dispatches From a Public Librarian: Dispatch 15: Corny Library Pickup Lines, and How Librarians Effectively Shoot Them Down
by Scott Douglas (2/14/2005)

Things a Lieutenant Would Say to His Men Before Combat If, Instead of Soldiers in a Central American Revolutionary Conflict, He Thought They Were Characters in Contra for Nintendo
by Nick Confalone (2/14/2005)

Sestina: Bushestina
by Jake Kennedy (2/14/2005)

List: Four Ways in Which My Life Is Just Like Pac-Man’s
by John Crownover (2/11/2005)

List: Revised Titles of Love Songs I Wrote About the Shitty Bookshelf I Purchased From Wal-Mart (in Chronological Order)
by George Wukoson (2/11/2005)

List: Ways in Which She Could Have Blinded Me With Science
by Jules Lipoff (2/11/2005)

List: Titles From the Hockey-Lockout Erotica Library
by Joe O'Neill (2/9/2005)

List: NFL Mascots That Could Not Actually Wear A Football Helmet Without Suffocating
by Sarah Walter (2/9/2005)

Superman’s Fortress of Solitude
by Rick Stoeckel (2/9/2005)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.