Some People Do Not Like Celebrities
by Michael Ian Black (9/19/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Hairline
by James F. Ward (9/18/2003)

The Tea Spectator Futures Preview for 2004
by Carl Durrenberger (9/18/2003)

Richard Parks Answers Your Bluegrass Music and Bluegrass Music-Related Questions: Column 2
by Richard Parks (9/18/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: Gubernatorialyssa Milano
by Carlton Doby (9/17/2003)

In Other Magazines: Spring/Summer 2003
by Amie E. Nenninger (9/16/2003)

Kafka at Camp: The Lost Diaries
by Jeff Barnosky (9/16/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Saint Nicholas
by Evan P Schneider (9/15/2003)

List: Remembered Items Bid During an Apparently Drunken but Lucid Game of High Stakes Verbal “Trivia Poker,” as Overheard During Observance of the Leonid Meteor Showers, High Atop Skyline Boulevard in the Hills of Oakland, California
by Eric Van Uffelen (9/15/2003)

List: Lyrics from Bob Dylan Tunes or Poorly Translated English on Japanese Food Packaging
by Kim McCann (9/15/2003)

List: TV Guide Movie Capsules, Heaven Edition
by Greg Murphy (9/15/2003)

Unused Audio Commentary By Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass, Recorded Summer 2003, for The Goonies Special Gen-X Edition DVD, Part Two
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (9/15/2003)

Unused Audio Commentary By Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass, Recorded Summer 2003, for The Goonies Special Gen-X Edition DVD, Part One
by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell (9/12/2003)

Sestina: Bodega
by Joelle Hann (9/10/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: A Name-Tag Snafu at the Annual Spice Girls/ Smurfs/ Seven Dwarfs Convention
by Carlton Doby and Kevin Shay (9/10/2003)

The Screenwriter’s Vacation
by Richie Chevat (9/9/2003)

Store Items Sold: August 24- September 8, 2003
by Store Manager (9/8/2003)

Journal Entries from Sara Grady, Who is Studying Horseshoe Crabs on Cape Cod: September 8
by Sara Grady (9/8/2003)

While Mating at the Zoo, Behind the Various Cages, I Whisper Sweet One-Liners into My Girls’ Ears
by Hari Raghavan (9/8/2003)

List: Certain Foods and the Individual Utensils it is Difficult to Eat Them With
by Eric Van Uffelen (9/8/2003)

Dan Kennedy Solves Your Problems With Paper: Part 4
by Dan Kennedy (9/6/2003)

Sestina: Ode to a Thin Mint
by Ana Maria Correa (9/5/2003)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: The Waterfowl of Windsor
by Kevin Dolgin (9/5/2003)

Interviews with Neighbors
by Chris Mohney (9/5/2003)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Mr. Tastee
by Brian Goldstein (9/4/2003)

NFL Picks 2003: Week One
by Jeff Johnson (9/4/2003)

List: Fluid-Related Terms Indicative of a State of Grace, Mostly from Various Obscure Religions
by Steve Krodman (9/3/2003)

List: Titles of Rock Songs Covered on Barbra’s Rock Album, Butterfly, or “Barbra’s Statements” from barbrastreisand.com
by Andrew Tibbetts (9/3/2003)

McSweeney’s Brain Exploder: The Ransom Note
by Carlton Doby (9/3/2003)

Sestina: The Remarried Again Sestina
by Shanna Compton (9/2/2003)