1. Employee With a Pension

2. Guy Whose Dating Profile Height Matches His Actual Height

3. Debt-Free At Any Point In Our God-Forsaken Lives

4. Non-Ironist

5. Social Security Beneficiary

6. Guy Who Has a Beard But Doesn’t Have a Strong Opinion About Kombucha

7. Person Able to Deposit a Portion of Their Earnings In a Savings Account

8. Bernie Bro Who Hasn’t Thought About Trying Standup

9. Homeowner