A List of Phrases, Common in Our Language, That Become Awkward in a Dimension of Unending Pain - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

This will only hurt for a second.

This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Ouch, my toe.

Pain
Phrases

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron today!

Become a patron

Suggested Reads

January 24, 2000

Several Phrases That Have Never Been Uttered in Human History

by Marshall Sella
February 11, 2004

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go in Europe: Useful Phrases

by Kevin Dolgin
May 3, 2004

Sensations I Would Have Gladly Endured for a Full Thirty Minutes in Lieu of the Eight Months of Constant Discomfort Resulting from a Pinched Sciatic Nerve (the Longest Nerve in the Body)

by Matt Sherman
April 7, 2020

Defunct Words and Phrases Thanks to the Coronavirus Crisis

by Emily Flamm

Trending 🔥

April 5, 2024

I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer

by Emily Delaney
March 27, 2024

Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job

by Laura McCullough
April 3, 2024

Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment

by Tom Smyth
February 6, 2024

My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack

by Gwynna Forgham-Thrift

Recently

April 19, 2024

Is It a Red Flag? (Jane Eyre Edition)

by Amy Greenlee
April 19, 2024

Letters to Moms: A Letter to Alison in Knocked Up

by Kristen Mulrooney
April 19, 2024

Other Things That Could Be Called The Tortured Poets Department

by Rebecca Turkewitz
April 18, 2024

Good News, Husband: I’ve Become a Tradwife

by Wendi Aarons and Johanna Gohmann

McSweeney’s manifesto issue is here!

Featuring life- and history-changing works from André Breton, Bertrand Russell, Valerie Solanas, Huey Newton, John Lee Clark, Dadaists, Futurists, Communists, Personists, and many more past and future -ists, plus brand-new work from brilliant radical thinkers Eileen Myles and James Hannaham. Subscribe now to let this incendiary collection light your whole world on fire.