Wha… Wha… Aaaaah! Where… what… help me… Oh, water, oh, thank you, thank. Water. You… you’re a doctor? This is a hospital? What, what’s going on?

An accident? I was in an accident? Badly hurt… a blow to my head. A coma… A coma!? How long have I been asleep?

Twenty hours?! Did I hear you right? Twenty hours?!? Are you saying I was in a coma for nearly an entire day? What’s today’s date? Goddammit, what is today’s date!

Oh, oh God, oh dear God. I… I… I don’t remember anything since yesterday…

I don’t… The world looks the same outside this window, but… what is this TV show? I don’t recognize any of the people on this show! I don’t know what’s going on…

Thank God you still speak English. I should be grateful for small blessings.

Tell me, please… What’s the biggest thing on the Internet right now? A funny video about a cat and dog dancing?!? I haven’t seen it! I don’t know anything about that! How could they dance? Dogs and cats hate each other!

Twenty hours of Facebook updates, twenty hours of Tweets! Wait… who was eliminated last night on Top Chef?!? Why don’t I just watch it? Just tell me goddammit! I need to accept that I’m a man from a different time, rudderless and disconnected.

Is it even still on the air?

What? Someone wants to see me? Who do I know now?

Who… You? Jennifer? My wife? OH! Oh! I do remember you! You must have remarried by now! I forgive you, and I wish you every happiness in your new life!

And this… this is our son? I know who you are, Brian! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry to have missed so much! Oh, how can you ever forgive your father, abandoning you during so much of your life!

The games of catch! The father-son talks we could have had! Tell me son, are you in love? Have you accomplished your dreams? Alas, how different your life might have been if I had been there to help! If I had been able to be your father!

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Yes, please, help me blow my nose. A what? A “tissue”? You call Kleenex TISSUE now? I don’t understand!