Pretending To Be Her Daughter, Mrs. Epstein E Mails 5-Year-Old Katie Schuster About A Play Date
by G.F. Snell (2/12/2007)

The Convergences Contest: Actaeon: An Ovidian Impromptu.
by Lawrence Weschler (2/11/2007)

Dispatches from the NBA Entertainment League: Dispatch 18: The Rout That Got Us Back on Track
by Graham Murphy (2/10/2007)

The Rise and Fall Of Ziggy Stardust’s Personal Assistant
by Rob McFeeley (2/9/2007)

List: Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins
by Ryan Vaughn (2/8/2007)

List: Opening Sentences to A Tale of Two Cities Rejected by Dickens Before He Settled on “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”
by John Andreini (2/8/2007)

List: Subjects of Pictures That Accurately Represent College Life, According to’s Tags on Recently Submitted Pictures
by Katie Cooper (2/8/2007)

The Office: A Spec Script By David Mamet
by Julia Ward (2/8/2007)

Fitzgerald Contest Winner and Runners-Up: Marionettes During Dinner Party Meeting and Kissing
by Evan Perriello (2/7/2007)

Fitzgerald Contest Winner and Runners-Up: High Branch
by Michael Rottman (2/7/2007)

Fitzgerald Contest Winner and Runners-Up: Confessions of Andrew Fulton, Turfgrass Emperor, Broadway Star, and Toast of New York’s Avant-Garde Art Scene; or, Come Home, Kitty 2! Come Home!
by Sharon McGill (2/7/2007)

Whale Of Mass Destruction— Richard B. Cheney, Adjunct Professor In The Humanities, Presents: The Annual Symbolism In Melville Lecture
by Blair Becker (2/7/2007)

Fitzgerald Contest Winner and Runners-Up: I Can Run Like the Wind
by Victoria Hannan (2/7/2007)

Jokes by Brian Beatty: Novel
by Brian Beatty (2/7/2007)

Stained Teeth: A Column About Wine: Column 3: Wine-Tasting at a Laundromat Art Extravaganza
by Matthew Latkiewicz (2/7/2007)

The Convergences Contest: Contest Winner #28: Sand and Moon
by Alison Cornyn (2/7/2007)

The Americans Who Voted For George W. Bush Wish To Return Their Television
by Wayne Gladstone (2/6/2007)

Sestina: O Light, Red Light
by Cathy Park Hong (2/6/2007)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Mr. James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Procter & Gamble
by Wendi Aarons (2/6/2007)

Superfoods For The Pessimist
by Chris Hicks (2/5/2007)

Monologue: Today’s AA Speaker: Mr. Tom Waits (If Mr. Waits Is Actually Like the People He Writes Songs About)
by Russell Bradbury-Carlin (2/5/2007)

List: Considered but Discarded Names for the Indie Band Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin
by John Flowers (2/2/2007)

List: The Only “Cute Couple” Halloween Costumes My Boyfriend and I Will Be Able to Use in Our Lifetimes, Because I Am 5’2" and He Is 6’7"
by Susan Howson (2/2/2007)

List: Reason for Celebrating Every Major Holiday With the In-laws, According to My Mother-in-Law
by CJ Leddy (2/2/2007)

Talk To Us With Towels
by Rob Sears (2/2/2007)

If My Parents In Spokane Submitted What They Considered Celebrity Sightings To Gawker.Com
by Kate Kershner (2/1/2007)

Sestina: How to Build a Sestina Template in Microsoft Excel
by Daniel Ari (2/1/2007)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Anna Louise Jordan, Author of What Does an EMT Do?
by Tom Miller (2/1/2007)

Dispatches from the NBA Entertainment League: Dispatch 17: The Game That Begged Ecclesiastic Pondering
by Graham Murphy (1/31/2007)

Jokes by Brian Beatty: Yes Man
by Brian Beatty (1/31/2007)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.