1. Your favorite basketball team will lose.
2. Your cat will throw up on your coat.
3. Your cousin Matt will call you and you will have to pick him up at the airport. He will forget to tell you which gate. You will have to sprint through the baggage claim area looking for him. He will be in the bathroom. You will not see him. You will sweat and scare other people.
4. Your car will be ticketed, then later—towed.
5. An old man will be beaten up at your neighborhood grocery.
6. Your cream cheese will taste funny.
7. A star quarterback in your state will break his leg.
8. Your novel will never be published.
9. Lou Gehrig’s Disease.