The Great Gatsby’s Laundry Room
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective In-Law Quarters
Charlie and the Chocolate Labrador Puppy Mill
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Ping Pong
Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Our Dad’s Illegal Casino
What To Expect When You’re Expecting to Piss Away the Family Nest Egg on a Home Microbrewery
Old Man and the 80-Inch Plasma with Stadium Sea-ting
Where The Wild Things Are and Your Children Will Probably Lose Their Virginity
Lemony Snicket and the Series of Unfortunate Coworkers Who Think Lemony Snicket is a Clever Band Name Commandeering the Kids’ Play Space for Weekly Jam Sessions for Some Purported “Gig”
The Secret Meth Lab
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Storage Shelves are From IKEA
Fifty Shapes of Crates
Bartleby the Scrivener’s Scrivening and Vape Shop
The Lion, the Witch, and the Treadmill Only Used Twice
Who Moved My Artisanal Cheese-making Studio Next to the Sump Pump?
The Diary of a Young Girl Being Forced to Play Croquet with Her Grandparents. And While You’re Down There See If You Can Find the Bocce Set
Doctor Zhivago’s Fast, Confidential, No-Questions-Asked Walk-in Clinic
Valley of the Dolls and Star Wars Figurines Too Sentimental to Donate to Goodwill
There were probably a bunch of cool cellars in The Odyssey
A Message to Garcia, Your Former College Roommate Now Newly Divorced: This is Not a Goddamned Hotel
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children and Their More Peculiar Fathers and Their Video Game Addictions
Jane Eyre’s Earthworm Farm
To Kill a Mockingbird, A Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Charlotte’s Web: Tuesdays With Morrie, Our Exterminator
Madame Bovary’s Sweatshop
Gone With the Wind, Electricity and Wi-Fi: Checking the Fuse Box
The Tale of Peter Rabbit Innocently Wandering Through the Backyard Until the Cat Hunted It, Dragged It Downstairs, and is Now Using as a Pillow
The Catcher in the 500-Gallon Farm-Raised Tilapia Receptacle in What Was Meant to Be a Sewing Room
Think and Grow Weed