The Great Gatsby’s Laundry Room

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective In-Law Quarters

Charlie and the Chocolate Labrador Puppy Mill

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Ping Pong

Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Our Dad’s Illegal Casino

What To Expect When You’re Expecting to Piss Away the Family Nest Egg on a Home Microbrewery

Old Man and the 80-Inch Plasma with Stadium Sea-ting

Where The Wild Things Are and Your Children Will Probably Lose Their Virginity

Lemony Snicket and the Series of Unfortunate Coworkers Who Think Lemony Snicket is a Clever Band Name Commandeering the Kids’ Play Space for Weekly Jam Sessions for Some Purported “Gig”

The Secret Meth Lab

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Storage Shelves are From IKEA

Fifty Shapes of Crates

Bartleby the Scrivener’s Scrivening and Vape Shop

The Lion, the Witch, and the Treadmill Only Used Twice

Who Moved My Artisanal Cheese-making Studio Next to the Sump Pump?

The Diary of a Young Girl Being Forced to Play Croquet with Her Grandparents. And While You’re Down There See If You Can Find the Bocce Set

Doctor Zhivago’s Fast, Confidential, No-Questions-Asked Walk-in Clinic

Valley of the Dolls and Star Wars Figurines Too Sentimental to Donate to Goodwill

There were probably a bunch of cool cellars in The Odyssey

A Message to Garcia, Your Former College Roommate Now Newly Divorced: This is Not a Goddamned Hotel

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children and Their More Peculiar Fathers and Their Video Game Addictions

Jane Eyre’s Earthworm Farm

To Kill a Mockingbird, A Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Charlotte’s Web: Tuesdays With Morrie, Our Exterminator

Madame Bovary’s Sweatshop

Gone With the Wind, Electricity and Wi-Fi: Checking the Fuse Box

The Tale of Peter Rabbit Innocently Wandering Through the Backyard Until the Cat Hunted It, Dragged It Downstairs, and is Now Using as a Pillow

The Catcher in the 500-Gallon Farm-Raised Tilapia Receptacle in What Was Meant to Be a Sewing Room

Think and Grow Weed