A hedge between keeps friendship green; look, I know you’re okay with your side of the hedge, but it’s getting out of control and making the whole neighborhood look shabby. To be honest, we’re trying to sell right now, and you’re depreciating property values. All I ask is that you trim it a little—I’ll be more than happy to pay for it. Oh, Sheila got a job offer in Manchester, and it’s an hour’s drive from here, and that’s just too much, and she’s the one who brings in the health insurance. Yeah, we’ll definitely have a going-away party, or something. For sure, I was planning on inviting you.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.