You should still lock the barn door after the horse has been stolen. What if the thieves come back for the owl? You may as well cut your losses.

The happy colt will not always make a fine horse. In fact, many perfectly happy colts from good families have turned to hard drugs later in life. Why do you think “horse” is slang for heroin?

In some cases it’s okay to put the cart before the horse. As long as the horse knows where he’s going, does it really matter if he’s pushing you instead of pulling you? Don’t be such an asshole.

You’re selling yourself short if you accept the idea that you can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink. Try taking him to a lake where a bunch of other horses are already drinking and then make him feel inadequate for not joining the group. Or put a skewer of olives in the water and tell the horse that the lake is a giant martini.

Of course a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse. The horse is blind. You could tell that by the sunglasses and the seeing-eye dog.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth unless it’s made of wood and given to you by a man named Gus Papadapolis. Then it’s worth checking. Just to be on the safe side.

If wishes were horses, you’d still have to drive a Mercury Topaz to work every day.

One thing remains the same. You still shouldn’t change horses in midstream. It’s just not a good idea.

Also, people who live in glass horses should not throw stones. But that’s kind of beside the point.