There was a woman who told lies.
If a car drove by, she’d say, “It flies.”
Night was day, clandestine lovers were casual acquaintances,
And coincidentally this description fits
My last four girlfriends.
This guy met a woman from Pisa.
He said he knew how to please her.
One day he was bragging,
And she said that she’d been faking it,
And of course all his friends were around to hear it.
There once was a man with much clout,
Who took a great liking to the stout.
He drank so much
And now he’s trying to get me to pay him a quarter
For cleaning my window with a greasy rag.
A man woke one day and said,
“I think I won’t leave this bed.”
His neighbors just laughed,
Because his obesity
Made it obvious that decision
Had already been made for him some time ago.
A man who resembled a hog,
Decided to get a dog.
I mean, let’s get serious:
With a face like that,
Who else is going to want to live with him?