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Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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July 27, 2022Pitch Me the Next Pandemic, You Useless Dumbfucks
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July 12, 2022The Earliest Adopters of Bitrock
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May 13, 2021Teachable Moments with the Anti-Vaxxer Family
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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October 26, 2020A Quiet Evening at Home With Don, Jr. and Kimberly
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, But I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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December 28, 2018More Appropriate White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner Jokes for 2019
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September 26, 2018A Time Traveler Goes Back in Time to the Birth of Baby Hitler But Gets the Wrong Baby
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April 12, 2018GOP Retirement Announcement Template
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 18, 2023Who Made This Hummus?