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Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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July 18, 2024The Aged King and the Nearly as Aged Dragon
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May 28, 2024Pep Talk
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July 27, 2022Pitch Me the Next Pandemic, You Useless Dumbfucks
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July 12, 2022The Earliest Adopters of Bitrock
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May 13, 2021Teachable Moments with the Anti-Vaxxer Family
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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October 26, 2020A Quiet Evening at Home With Don, Jr. and Kimberly
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, But I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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December 28, 2018More Appropriate White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner Jokes for 2019
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian