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Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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October 26, 2020A Quiet Evening at Home With Don, Jr. and Kimberly
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, But I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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December 28, 2018More Appropriate White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner Jokes for 2019
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September 26, 2018A Time Traveler Goes Back in Time to the Birth of Baby Hitler But Gets the Wrong Baby
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April 12, 2018GOP Retirement Announcement Template
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February 2, 2018I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
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November 30, 2017The World According to Trump
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October 25, 2017247 Ball: Luxury Gentrification in an Up-and-Coming Neighborhood!
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March 26, 2021An Excerpt from My New Anxiety Dream Where I’m Blocking the Suez Canal
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March 22, 2021Job Posting: Assistant Professor of Robotics and Animal Husbandry with a Specialization in Dance
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April 2, 2021The Party of Family Values Would Like to Expand the Definition of “Family” and Also of “Values”
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January 5, 2015Reasons You Were Not Promoted That Are Totally Unrelated to Gender
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021For Your Return to the Office, We’ve Added Three Rooms for Guttural Screaming
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April 8, 2021The Hallmark Channel Presents: Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”