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Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, But I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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December 28, 2018More Appropriate White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner Jokes for 2019
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September 26, 2018A Time Traveler Goes Back in Time to the Birth of Baby Hitler But Gets the Wrong Baby
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April 12, 2018GOP Retirement Announcement Template
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February 2, 2018I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
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November 30, 2017The World According to Trump
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October 25, 2017247 Ball: Luxury Gentrification in an Up-and-Coming Neighborhood!
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October 12, 2017Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Comedy II
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September 14, 2017Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Forgiveness
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 9, 2020The 52 Stages of Insomnia
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May 18, 2020I Was In Charge of the Deck Chairs On the Titanic, and They Absolutely Did Need Rearranging
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October 19, 2020
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1- 940
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October 21, 2020Campaign Strategies For Getting Out the Cryptid Vote
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October 21, 2020
For the Voter Who Is Unsure About Mail-In Ballots -
October 21, 2020Quarantine Is a Wonderful Opportunity to Grow as a Person and Regress as a Person
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October 21, 2020Beaver of Fine Arts: What You Missed When You Skipped Class