“Britney Spears poops solid gold.”

List: Mnemonic Devices to Help You Remember How to Spell “Mnemonic Devices.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Ron G. Biv

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Obama Can Barely Spell “petroleum.” Bush Could

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Stop crying. Never cross Stevie Wonder. Muzzle that hurtful, nasty woman: Pelosi. Nuke Moscow. Soooooo overdue. Never trust Malaysian geishas to giggle well. They giggle horribly. After Clinton, this nation didn’t fix itself. I fixed it!

We Need a Republican Nominee Whose Disdain for Marginalized People is Less Obvious

List: A Parents’ Guide to Surviving the College Drop-Off

Monologue: I Am Marianne Williamson and, to Clarify, the ‘Dark Psychic Force’ I Mentioned Is the Algerian Military and Its Refusal to Cede Power to the Hirak

List: Things Trump Can Do to Win Democrats’ Votes