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Non-Essential Mnemonics
In this space, writer Kent Woodyard shares all the mnemonics
you’ll never really need to remember.
To view this column offline, check out Kent’s first book, Non-Essential Mnemonics: An Unnecessary Journey Into Senseless Knowledge.
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November 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Greetings, viewers. Tonight’s senatorial debate will cover lots of topics neither candidate knows much about: nationalized healthcare, nonprofit finance, nanotechnology, jihadists…”
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October 6, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Six Flags Wild Safari
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August 18, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “We’ll heal every neuron with transcendental therapy. Goodbye worldly knowledge—yoga class will now begin…”
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August 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Putting aside regional predilections, Pittsburgh sucks.”
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June 9, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Remedial kids aren’t ‘dumb’—just chronically goofy. Until frontal lobotomies become commonplace, educators dutifully remain S.O.L.”
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May 21, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Tell stories about battles, legends, & tumultuous sexual triangles. Make it fun! Never trade intimate character revelations with endless, ugly ‘talking.’ Show the climax. Telling becomes mostly unnecessary.”
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April 28, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “You’re older now. Stop buying Abercrombie & Fitch!”
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March 19, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: After Leveling Ukraine, Genghis Khan Marauded Across the Urals Leaving Tattered “KHAN RULES” Banners Everywhere
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February 25, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even despite Osama’s impassioned speeches denouncing America many Americans believe jihadists really only hate indie rockers…”
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January 29, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Every Nation Has Troubles…
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January 8, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even average drummers get beer endorsements.”
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November 7, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: Daily Prostate Checks Keep People (Mostly Guys) Energized and Youthful