VOLUNTEER AT SCHOLARMATCH
ScholarMatch, a student-centered advising and mentoring organization serving mainly BIPOC youth, is currently seeking volunteers with similar experiences. Become ScholarMatch’s next college coach and help make a difference! Click here for more info.
Non-Essential Mnemonics
In this space, writer Kent Woodyard shares all the mnemonics
you’ll never really need to remember.
To view this column offline, check out Kent’s first book, Non-Essential Mnemonics: An Unnecessary Journey Into Senseless Knowledge.
-
August 30, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “People say kings bring leadership. Erroneous! Kings murder. Kings guillotine. Kings love power. Powerful kings yield powerless kingdoms.”
-
July 15, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: "Planet Hoth gets ‘Hiroshima’d.’ (Bitchin!) Skywalker visits Yoda. Solo and Leia french. (Righteous!)…
-
June 24, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “No, you idiot. The Bolshevik Regime tanked because Bolshevik ministers didn’t facilitate market capitalism. Haha…socialism? Seriously?! Poor people should just save some money”
-
June 5, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Football mania spread sadism throughout the world.”
-
May 20, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Until I found Buddhism, Sikhism seemed compelling—even magical. When golf anxiety started making intimacy unpleasant, Sikh filosophy [sic] kept John grounded. Sikhism’s awesome.”
-
May 9, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Ruining America’s ‘national treasures’ feels somewhat bittersweet considering I’ve (obviously) never taken Freemasonry seriously. Booyah.”
-
April 22, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Black bears rarely butcher random backwoods ragamuffins,” said bear researcher, Steve Winslow. “Tourists don’t really taste right.”
-
March 25, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Country music just makes people sad. Garth, Kenny, Rascal Flatts… whoever. They’re always crying about Republican politics, drinking alone, and Jesus.”
-
March 11, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Rollerblading men invited vitriol until X Games.”
-
January 14, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “The mainstream media creates scandals to help ratings. Networks race for commercial dollars—celebrating hysteria and commissioning ‘junk journalism.’”
-
December 4, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Lazy judges & hypocritical lawyers frequently justify unfair rulings by jailing serial jerkoffs.”
-
November 20, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Let’s all invite an Onondaga Indian (AKA “pagan savage”) in and badger him about Jesus. Wartime atrocities aside… let’s become apostles!”