ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Kent Woodyard
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November 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Greetings, viewers. Tonight’s senatorial debate will cover lots of topics neither candidate knows much about: nationalized healthcare, nonprofit finance, nanotechnology, jihadists…”
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October 6, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Six Flags Wild Safari
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September 3, 2014The Little You Know About the Mnemonic Devices You Know is Probably Wrong
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August 18, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “We’ll heal every neuron with transcendental therapy. Goodbye worldly knowledge—yoga class will now begin…”
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August 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Putting aside regional predilections, Pittsburgh sucks.”
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June 9, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Remedial kids aren’t ‘dumb’—just chronically goofy. Until frontal lobotomies become commonplace, educators dutifully remain S.O.L.”
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May 21, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Tell stories about battles, legends, & tumultuous sexual triangles. Make it fun! Never trade intimate character revelations with endless, ugly ‘talking.’ Show the climax. Telling becomes mostly unnecessary.”
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April 28, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “You’re older now. Stop buying Abercrombie & Fitch!”
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March 19, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: After Leveling Ukraine, Genghis Khan Marauded Across the Urals Leaving Tattered “KHAN RULES” Banners Everywhere
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February 25, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even despite Osama’s impassioned speeches denouncing America many Americans believe jihadists really only hate indie rockers…”
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January 29, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Every Nation Has Troubles…
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January 8, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even average drummers get beer endorsements.”
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets