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Articles by
Kent Woodyard
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November 20, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Let’s all invite an Onondaga Indian (AKA “pagan savage”) in and badger him about Jesus. Wartime atrocities aside… let’s become apostles!”
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October 29, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “America should obviously keep killing terrorists. That’s retribution, baby!”
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September 26, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Tyrannosaurs usually only eat dinners they’ve intentionally assaulted. A tyrannosaurus doesn’t order pre-attacked entrees. Dinosaurs aren’t like Americans.”
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August 28, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: Actually, Some White Men CAN Jump. Trampolines Prevent Racially Biased Athleticism
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August 10, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Only losers—probably Presbyterians or their fellow Calvinists—find religious services that go after brunch palatable.”
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July 25, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Sporty lesbians get extremely competitive when playing softball. They make mountains outta molehills—often making women cry following bad losses.”
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June 15, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Before conservatives fawned over him, ‘Mormon Mitt’ never waxed presidential.”
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May 9, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Occupational proctologists are proficient bottom probers and butt pluggers. Orthopedic nurses are nice, but not ‘anal business’ nice.”
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April 2, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Remember Bernie Mac? That guy made people laugh by combining standoffishness and slapstick—nuanced performances rarely repeated since.”
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March 14, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Coldplay doesn’t count as ‘European exceptionalism.’”
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February 29, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: Vegans Proudly Show Off Their Healthy “Pretend Poultry” Tacos or Their Soy Sauce Omelettes. Seemingly, Skipping Over the Tasty Staples of Dinner Appeals to Annoying Gardeners
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February 10, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: Pontiffs Can Certainly Forgive Sins, But Excommunication Has Obvious Recreational Benefits
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November 24, 2020
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1- 1,004 -
August 24, 2020Frog and Toad Tentatively Go Outside After Months In Self-Quarantine
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September 1, 2020Quiz: Are You the Worst Fucking Parent?
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November 12, 2020Meet Olivia! The COVID-19-Era American Girl Doll
