Kent Woodyard

Non-Essential Mnemonics: "How about a nice mocha. Or… ummmm… what is White Macchiato? Sounds delicious. No? Dangit. Cappuccino… no… no. What’s Vanilla Kreme? Oh. Maybe caramel with iced tea for my Anch Marcy? My aunt I mean. I like organic teas—kiwi… vanilla… raspbe

Non-Essential Mnemonics: My Friends Greg ’n Chelsea Lost Their Virginities at a Taylor Swift Concert

Non-Essential Mnemonics: It Needs Kingsize Zippers Because Santa Loves Cookies In Milk

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Screen Actors Guild

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Ronnie, Gary, Aunt Gretchen, Pastor Larry, Pastor Larry’s Wife Anna, Tina, Tina’s Deadbeat Coworker, Uncle Vinny, That Kid Matt from Petey’s Soccer Team, and Cousin Vinny’s Tramp Girlfriend

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Berenstain Bears Learn About Young-Nasty Bear’s Sex Life. Berenstain Bears: Are You A Communist?

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Really? You’re cheering for Michael ‘I Murder Animals’ Vick? Get the hell out.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Kansas State Bowling Sucks. Kansas Recruits All the Best Guys

Non-Essential Mnemonics: AT&T sucks something awful. / They’re terrible. / Spotty service really tests my heart rate. / Text messages = horrible. / AT&T, stop sucking. / The iPhone’s not enough

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Juggling children and acting can make life hectic.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Quit Bitching About World Cup Loss