A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it—but, actually, I just remembered this Times article from 2003 that pointed out how a number of New York City buses are actually slower than walking. And while we’re at it, have you noticed there are rarely any good-looking people on the bus? I’m not trying to be lookist here, just pointing something out. There are plenty of attractive passengers on the subway, so, other than a preponderance of the elderly who can’t navigate subway stairs, why should the bus be any different? You’ll find these and other bus-oriented observations in my new one-man comedy show, Bus-Ted, which intertwines our nation’s love of buses with my own personal stories about them.