Chapter Titles From My Creationist Textbook

by David Ng

Thursday
Saturday
Embryos
Friday
Homosexuality
Wednesday
Monday
Thermodynamics
Tuesday
Candle Making

As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

Become a patron

Trending 🔥

April 30, 2020

The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later

by Madeleine Trebenski
June 26, 2020

A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking

by Juliana Gray
June 24, 2020

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
June 22, 2020

I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You

by Ilana Gordon

Recently

July 7, 2020

An Open Letter to Straight Couples Who Have Been Quarantining Together After Only Dating For a Few Weeks From a Lesbian Who’s Been There Before

by sophie santos
July 7, 2020

This Has Been Happening Forever, But Never So Close to Me

by Amaya Ibañez-Brown
July 7, 2020

I Do Not Choose to Write My 902-Page Fantasy Ninja Thriller — I Am Compelled To

by Drew James
July 7, 2020

Knotted Ribbon

by Nikki Campo

Throughout July, we’re donating $2.50 to Gender Justice LA for every copy we sell of Emerson Whitney’s Heaven. GJLA is led by and for Non-binary, 2S, Trans, Black, Indigenous, POC, and has been working to build a strong grassroots multi-racial coalition of transgender people and allies to advocate for our rights, win concrete improvements in our lives, and challenge oppression for the last 18 years. Support trans lives, and read this powerful memoir today.

LEST WE FORGET THE HORRORS

Chapter Titles From My Creationist Textbook

by David Ng

Last Will and Testament of Patrick W. Dunkler, Conspiracy Theorist

Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell’s 1984, Considering How That Year Turned Out

Suggested Reads

Trending 🔥

Recently