NYC/BROOKLYN: Come see a night of McSweeney’s humor at the powerHouse Arena, featuring a cavalcade of Tendency contributors from our new anthology KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING. October 19th, 6 pm.
June 25, 2013
God’s To-Do List, Week Two
- Add foreskin to Adam’s penis, ha-ha
- Plant boxwood border around far edge of Universe
- Induce fear of death by imparting awareness of death
- Increase speed of light from 50 miles/hour to 186,000 miles/second
- Dumb down Tree of Knowledge
- Omniscients Anonymous meeting
- Check to see if first chicken’s produced first egg yet (or vice versa)
- Order “Happy 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,007th birthday to me!” cake
- Put flaming bag of dog-angel shit on Satan’s front porch, ring doorbell
- Give days actual names (possibles: Sunday, Moonday, Darkmatterday…???)
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