A new broom sweeps clean; you’ll find them in the storage closet back here. After you sweep, you’ll need to get the mop and bucket out—they’re in the closet on the opposite side. Around seven o’clock our first customers trickle in, and we like them to have a spotless, shiny floor. Greg will run you through the coffee machines, which are a little tricky, and then we’ll set you up with an apron. Did you bring two forms of ID for your tax papers? No? Oh, shit. Well, you can’t legally start working today, then. I don’t want to send you home just to head right back, so come back tomorrow. Right, tomorrow’s the weekend… okay, come back Monday, and hopefully we won’t have hired someone else in the meantime.
NEW BOOK ALERT
What the world needs is a 680-page, three-pound humor anthology. KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available for preorder.
March 18, 2013
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.