Dear Dirk, everybody wrote in to say they love your hair
shaggy and long, or cropped and short. Who cares about
whether or not you eat sushi in Richardson or Dallas, here
or there? Ebrahim in McKinney wants to know: Where
is the best burger in town? Inane, I think, when you could be
this year’s NBA’s Most Valuable Player, Nowitzki.

A 7’1", 240-pound forward. The third-highest scorer in the NBA? Nowitzki.
Pure muscle. Ambidextrous. A Baryshnikov in sneakers. Blue eyes, blond hair.
Taught by a German trainer to walk on your hands. Your physique has caused you to be
dogged as Dirk the Diggler. With your size, I guess it’s normal to wonder about
your anatomy. Did they also ask about your shoe size? That’s where
the guys with an inferiority complex and the groupies’ heads are, not mine here.

Dear Dirk, lots more absurd questions for you to answer here.
From Debbie in Dallas: Where do you eat German food, Nowitzki?
Does Big D even have German food? From Robert in Dallas: Where
can I take date? From Paul in Irving: How should I cut my hair?
From Bryan in Düsseldorf: What do I make a best man’s speech about?
From Naomi in New York: How can I be all that I can be?

Dear Dirk, From Brooke in Miami: We are going to be
traveling around Germany: Berlin, Wiesbaden, Cologne. If you were here,
where would you go to have a fun time at night? Travel about?
“I’m not sure, but when you get there, ask the locals,” advises Nowitzki.
Everyone who wrote in wants to know: Why did you cut your hair?
Took no chiding from the coach. “My hair got in my eyes,” no matter where.

Dear Dirk, From Chari in Amarillo: “My husband has bad habits where
he leaves dirty clothes all around.” Eva in Alaska, a boyfriend problem. (Should Dirk be
dishing advice or practicing basketball and washing his freshly cut hair?)
But Dirk answers them all anyway. Helpful, humble, always here
to assist. Too good to be true. Embarrassed when MTV Punk’d Nowitzki.
You turned 10 shades of red. But it’s what being a celebrity is all about.

Now, Dirk, I gotta ask you a question from Angela in Dallas, about
just exactly what you want in a woman. How and where
could a girl like her meet you and win your heart, Nowitzki?
Just how could a woman compete with all that time in the gym, be
the one most important thing that matters most to you here:
not basketball, not the Mavericks, not the next game, not your hair?

Dear, dear Nowitzki, Angela wants to know: Could you be my MVP?
Come closer, here where I can run my fingers through
your gorgeous hair. Oh, you German god. At night, it’s you I dream about.