Dragon seeks smart, motivated intern to help manage a sprawling cavern of various golden treasures. This is the perfect opportunity for a go-getter who is thrilled by the idea of spending hours crouching atop a glistening mountain of precious metals. You’ll work closely with Dragon to guard an impressive collection of lustrous items, including really shiny forks, trophies, and big coins. The work is not just coffee-fetching and gold-polishing — you will gain plenty of on-site experience. Past interns have been lucky enough to watch a knight be brutally murdered. Successful interns are detail-oriented, unafraid of random bursts of fire, and able to jump at least three vertical feet to avoid a swinging, razor-sharp reptilian tail.
This is an unpaid position. Interns will gain unique experience around piles of riches and can also potentially receive college credit. There is NOT a remote option for this position. A small travel stipend of two gold doubloons will be provided. However, interns must organize their own transportation to and from the subterranean lair.
Duties and Responsibilities
- Treasure inventory, cleaning, and organization
- Weekly team meetings with Dragon to provide updates on safety and beauty of hoard
- Maintenance and replacement of BEWARE DRAGON signage surrounding cave
- Traveling to nearby town to educate residents on dangers of stealing from Dragon
- Managing Dragon’s Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and TikTok
- Slaying knights when Dragon is unavailable
- Disposing of knight carcasses
- Occasional coffee runs
- Must display extreme reverence for shiny things
- Must have previous social media experience
- Must be able to ascend 30-foot pile of pure gold
- Must possess robust communication skills (yelling loud enough to reach Dragon’s ears)
- Must not be related to, friends of, or in any way affiliated with the Knights of The Round Table
- First-hand experience around treasure
- Exposure to network of other dragons
- Unrestricted access to cave
- Dragon will slay one enemy of your choosing
- Free pizza lunch on Tuesdays
Interested applicants should send a résumé, cover letter, and a 500-word essay on their favorite shiny object to firstname.lastname@example.org. Dragon is an equal-opportunity exploiter.