Blast locavorian timpani band on solar-charged iPod before excusing yourself. Connect to recyclable cardboard speakers for extra effect.

Wait until he falls asleep, then stuff his ears with applicator-free non-bleached tampons.

Demonstrate new bio-fuel powered vacuum cleaner on post-industrial fiber carpeting. Ask him to finish the room while you excuse yourself.

Biodegradable colostomy bag.

Ask him to open several fun-sized fully compostable SunChips bags before bike ride to sustainable fishery. Quickly excuse yourself while he struggles with nature-sanctioned packaging.

Go in the bushes outside.