1. The titillating keyboard sounds as you type “When is Hanukkah this year?” into Google.

2. The soft silence after someone realizes they just wished a Jewish person Merry Christmas.

3. The flickering flames of candles in the menorah you’ve used twice since your bar mitzvah.

4. The captivating chewing of your five-year-old nephew eating latkes with his mouth wide open.

5. The throaty noise of your gentile friends attempting to say the holiday name as it’s pronounced in Hebrew (Chanukah).

6. The warm whisper of your bubbe recounting the story of the Maccabees incorrectly, but no one daring to correct her.

7. The pleasant purring of a spinning dreidel right before it falls off the table, never to be seen again.

8. The crinkling of holiday-agnostic wrapping paper as you rip open your last gift: another pair of socks.