Quesadillas are relaxed tacos.

Bracelets are watches without time.

Legwarmers are calf tube tops.

Older sisters are just more-loved younger sisters.

Cupcakes are muffins with confidence.

Confidence is calling out your parents for loving your older sisters more.

Mittens are gloves for hooves.

Puddles are wet mirrors.

Twins are living mirrors.

Twins are when you have two older sisters and your parents go to their softball games instead of your clarinet recital.

Toothpicks are wood floss.

Thanksgiving is when your parents forget to invite you.

Turkeys are unflattering peacocks.

Christmas is when your parents forget to invite you and it’s December.

Earrings are ornaments for your ears.

Pennies are fountain currency.

Triplets are the utopian version of three daughters.

Outlet stores are where Sarah and Jess can pick out any three items they want.

Scarves are the turtle part of a turtleneck.

Life is a mostly unfair experience.

Pancakes are edible plates.

Sarah and Jess are proof that there can be two centers of attention.

Quesadillas are a perfect microwave Thanksgiving dinner for one.

Jealousy is something that increases over time.

Watches are bracelets with time.

Tube tops are articles of clothing that Sarah and Jess can pull off.

Muffins is Sarah and Jess’s cat, who was invited to Christmas this year.

Gloves are hand suits.

Mirrors are something you look at by yourself for a long time.

Floss is mouth yarn.

Peacocks are turkeys that know what they’re doing.

Sarah and Jess dressed up as peacocks for Halloween.

Ears are inverted headphones.

I dressed up as a turkey for Halloween.

Fountains are what you toss coins in to make a wish that Sarah and Jess moved out of state for college.

Turtles are animals that you are compared to.