You can only own a pet if it fits in the pouch of a kangaroo.

Everyone in Australia lives in the Sydney Opera House.

Paul Hogan personally awakens all Australian citizens each morning.

When you’re born in Australia, you are a koala until you turn five.

There are no such things as crocodiles.

If you’re having a waffle, you say you’re going on a waffle-bout.

If you’re dating Shelia E., you introduce her as your Shelia, Shelia E.

The toilets flush counter clockwise and all the clocks are toilets.

In the southern hemisphere, Australia is a palindrome.

When Hugh Grant and Jack Black go to Australia together they turn into Hugh Jackman. Otherwise he doesn’t exist.

You have to eat fifty shrimp a day.

The Great Barrier Reef is just okay.

Vegemite is sunscreen for sharks.

Russell Crowe stole his name from a bird name Russell the Crow. His real name is Tim White.

Sex is called stabbin’ the wallaby, flipping the rain-stick, or going to Perth on a train.

Steve Irwin.