“On the biggest stage in US politics, Biden did not meet their modest expectations. And by the end of the 90-minute showdown, the Democratic president’s allies—party strategists and rank-and-file voters alike—descended into all-out panic following a debate performance punctuated by repeated stumbles, uncomfortable pauses, and a quiet speaking style that was often difficult to understand.” — The Boston Globe, 6/28/24

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Your staff has been broken, White Wizard. We Free Peoples saw it happen—LIVE.

Just when the hammer of Morgoth blew back the gates of our Great City, and it seemed evil might take home in our fortress, you rode out to protect we Men of the West and all that we hold dear. We thought we might have heard you try to shout to the Witch King of Angmar, “You cannot enter here,” but to be honest, you kind of mumbled? Even on your mighty steed, you looked a little shaky. And then the Lord of the Nazgûl raised his flaming sword on high, speaking the Dark Tongue of Mordor, unchecked, and shattered your weapon for all the people of Minas Tirith to see. Not even Shadowfax could hide your trembling as you slumped off her magnificent rump.

We are grateful, Gandalf, for all that you have done for Middle-earth over the ages. For coming back at the turn of the tide to unite the Fellowship, and best the Balrog, and “lower the temperature” in this Battle for the Soul of Our Nation. We thank you for lowering unemployment in Gondor and strengthening alliances with the Rohirrim. But you are [checks parchment] 55,000 years old?! You’ve literally been alive for ages.

We simply must find a younger savior if we are to keep Sauron at bay. Should we not look to the heir to Isildur, who might wield the Flame of the West to unite the world of men? Is there not a noble woman among us capable of besting the Witch King and his hideous beast? Might we not trust in the courage of Hobbits? Or someone who can simply speak back to the Mouth of Sauron?

You said it yourself. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us. And White Wizard, your time is over.

We beseech you, Gandalf, Mithrandir, Incánus, Tharkún, Olorin—diminish into the West. If you are to be the “Bridge Wizard” you said you’d be, live out the rest of your days indulging in the Halfling’s leaf and the Shire’s sweet cream.

Should you not, the Age of Men is truly over, and the Time of the Orc has come.