Haste Makes Waist—nope, that’s not an unintentional misspelling of “waste”; it’s the slogan for my new diet pills, Haste, that will shed two to three inches of belly fat and help you “make waist,” as we like to say. Though they’re not yet approved by the FDA, they’re made with the finest Colombian chemicals and are “100% safe.”1 Don’t waste any more time; let Haste Make Waist today!2

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1 Side effects of Haste include nausea, upset stomach, constipation, diarrhea, headaches, anxiety, insomnia, drowsiness, dizziness, nervousness, not being nervous enough, heart palpitations, loss of appetite or increase in appetite, weight changes, no weight change whatsoever no matter what you eat or don’t eat, cold symptoms (stuffy nose, sneezing, sore throat), fever symptoms, seemingly no symptoms but actually having a cold, dry mouth, wet mouth, decreased sex drive, impotence, difficulty having an orgasm, horniness, constant erections, or spontaneous orgasms.

2 Delivery in approximately 6-8 months.