Hello, Aunt Patty.

We are Anonymous.

Over the years, we have been watching you: the flurry of forwarded e-mails you send to all your contacts, your googling of long ago high school crushes, your unfair Yelp reviews; all of these things have caught our eye. With your constant barrage of Facebook posts, status updates, and likes now reaching unfathomable levels, the extent of your online behavior has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your Facebook profile should be stopped. For the good of your nieces, nephews, and mankind, we shall proceed to expel you from Facebook, and systematically dismantle your Internet presence.

We recognize you, Patty, as a serious opponent. Do not expect our campaign to be completed in a short time frame. Your constant and untimely usage of emojis, your love for sharing quotes accompanied by pictures of Minions, and your paragraph-long run-on sentence complaints to the Delta Airlines Facebook page will be a challenge to fully eradicate.

The intention of Anonymous is to protect information from the control of any individual, corporation, or government entity. We also want to limit the amount of useless and lousy quality content that Facebook profiles such as yours perpetuate on a daily annoying basis. We do this not only for ourselves. We’re doing this for family members who want to stay informed about your life, without being harassed by “Aunt Patty likes this” on every single one of their pictures just mere seconds after they accepted your friend request. Anonymous is campaigning at this very moment for freedom of information exchange, freedom of expression, and free use of the Internet. But your vast, round-the-clock onslaught over the web, and the immense pride that you maintain about it, has made us question our entire position.

No more liberal usage of the exclamation mark. No more sharing videos of cute animals. No more statuses featuring Buddhist proverbs that we know you don’t follow yourself. No more comments on other people’s posts that have nothing to do with the post itself. We’ve had enough.

We are Anonymous, and Aunt Patty — you must be stopped.