Dear Facebook,

Thank you for your recent suggestion that I “reconnect” with Hamish Howard. Unfortunately, I will not be using Facebook to reconnect with him in the near future. Please allow me to outline the reasons for this below.

It may be useful for me to provide some background context to the situation.

Hamish Howard is my boyfriend. We have been together for a little over three years. Being 25 and notoriously single before meeting Hamish, this is a rather large deal for me. Some say that with such history, we should perhaps consider getting married. Others suggest that the term “boyfriend” is no longer appropriate, and that I should actually be referring to him as my “partner”. Either way, he is the man I love, the one for me, my other half, etc. I would hate for you to think that because we haven’t declared our love for each other on Facebook by updating our status to “In a Relationship” that we are not serious.

We are Facebook friends simply because it would seem strange if we weren’t. We have 84 friends in common. We do not regularly communicate on Facebook, because up until approximately three months ago, we lived together. We slept together. We went for meals, we talked on the phone, we sent text messages and if I was really lucky, he would walk me to work holding my hand.

Hamish recently finished his Science degree majoring in marine biology. He decided after years of student poverty, and wanting to experience the fishing industry first hand, he would take a job on the deep sea fishing boats. He is currently in the South Pacific Ocean, just out of New Zealand. He is away at sea for six weeks at a time. Throughout this period, he works in shifts of six hours on, six hours off. He constantly smells of fish, and yes, he does get seasick.

Moreover, to be honest, deep down, I would love to reconnect with him. I long to reconnect with him. I miss him terribly. My boyfriend is a fisherman! I do try and keep these feelings under wraps for the majority of my existence without him, and you Facebook, are simply not helping.

Whilst I appreciate Facebook’s concern that Hamish and I are no longer living in the same house, or even the same city, I have to be frank when I say that the constant encouragement to “reconnect” just comes across as a cruel joke.

I also appreciate that Facebook has picked up on the fact that he is away on a big adventure, but by reminding people like my smug soon-to-be-married sister that they too should reconnect with him, it just rubs salt in my wounds.

I would therefore suggest, moving forward, that you cease your incessant suggestions and leave me to wallow, lonely and in peace.

Kind regards,
Delaney Mes