1. “Make sure to stand six feet — or one Scott — apart.”

2. “It looks like you’re about half a Scott apart, which is three feet.”

3. “In fact, you seem to be standing about your boyfriend Craig’s height apart, but he’s only 5’4”. You should be like my boyfriend, Scott. He’s six feet tall."

4. “I think it would help if you just imagined that my six-foot-tall boyfriend, Scott, was lying on the ground. That’s how far apart you should be from me.”

5. “Here, let me go get Scott to come lie on the ground.”

6. “Okay, now you stand at his feet and I’ll stand six feet away, where his head is.”

7. “Do you see it now? Do you see how we’re six feet apart?”

8. “Wow, it really feels like we’re worlds away from each other. Can you even hear me over this Scott length of distance? Which is six feet.”

9. “What? You’re tired of me saying six feet? I won’t say six feet anymore.”

10. “Scott, you should probably stand up, the ground is covered in coronavirus. Also, you’re 72 inches tall.”