Make hay while the sun shines, though we’ve also installed new solar-simulacrum paneling all over the geodesic dome to enable twenty-four-hour hay production. You’ll be on the night shift; we expect you here at nine every night, and you can clock out at five in the morning. After a year on the job, assuming we’re all on the same page and you’ve hit the appropriate milestones, you’ll be considered for the morning shift, which also comes with health care.
LEST WE FORGET THE HORRORS
A catalog of Trump’s worst cruelties, collusions, corruptions, and crimes.
Also available as a free downloadable PDF.
July 28, 2014
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.